My Nissen Fundoplication Experience

13 Months Post Op: #fundoplication issues?

2012-01-07T11:30:00.001-08:00

I don't think so. I don't think anything at all is wrong with my wrap, or what is going on is really related to it. But I'm sick, and I have to wonder...

9 days ago I had a bad pain day, needed to throw up, took 3 nausea pills, and just had to endure and wait for whatever-it-was to pass through. Now for about a week I've had a bellyache and often nausea - usually mild, sometimes severe enough to need an ondansetron tablet - every time I eat. Drinking doesn't bother me, but eating certainly does. And more than small portions causes pain at my wrap site. My gut reaction is that there is some kind of inflammation or something going on in my stomach, for some reason, and maybe it is just over-reacting to food as a result? I don't know though...

I do know that I still have a lot of stomach acid, and if I go without ranitidine for long the result is burning pain. So I stay on top of it. Unless the ranitidine isn't doing its job anymore, I've grown "immune" to it or whatever?

Also this week I have a lot of other things going on: a UTI. A respiratory infection. A toothache. Bloating/constipation. Aches, pains, intermittent fever, chills, achy joints. So I think my body is just sick. If it goes on too much longer I'll have to see my doctor I guess, although I just saw her last week, for now I'm doing all the right things and hoping my system can just fight it all off.

So it isn't just my stomach (although that's where all this seemed to start)...and it definitely isn't the wrap itself. But I have to wonder if I'd just been able to get rid of whatever was making me sick 9 days ago if maybe I'd have just been better - like maybe the toxins bad bacteria or whatever had to stay in my system too long when my body normally would have ejected them right away before they could make me sick in so many ways?

All speculation. But there's my update anyway, for whatever it's worth to you :).

A Blog Worth Knowing About: The Adventures of Beaner

2011-12-09T11:48:00.000-08:00

http://adventuresofbeaner.blogspot.com/ is the URL.

"After many previous and current inquiries about Ian and our family, I have decided to put together a blog for any interested followers. I'll include Ian's adventures, including the ups, downs, and in-betweens."

"Ian was born 11 weeks early, at 29 weeks, various gastrointestinal and pulmonary issues"

Ian has had a Nissen Fundoplication as an infant, and this blog discusses his issues. Worth a mention here, as it seems that babies who undergo NF have their own considerations.

ONE YEAR!

2011-12-02T13:25:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was the 1-year anniversary of my life-changing surgery. I believe I have a normal life again although it's not the same normal as I had before the GERD began nearly 20 years previously. But it is normal to me now.

These differences are few, though. Still no carbonated beverages, since I can't burp, for the most part. Very very occasionally a small amount of air will work its way back up past my wrap, but it is not often enough to be sure I could burp when I needed to - 95% of the time, at least, I can't. For the same reason, I can't drink through a straw, which is would mainly be an issue at fast-food drive-thru places. But we keep a bottle of water in the car for those occasions. And speaking of air, what can't come back up, has to pass on through. So I'm more flatulent than I've ever been, and don't have much control over that. I try to not be rude about it but, well, like I said, I don't have much control over that.

As for foods, I probably only get "stuck" a couple of times a month now. Smaller bites and thorough chewing are second nature. Large bites are painful going down, even if they don't get stuck. As I've mentioned, cooked pork and bread are the main problems, like if I have the very rare (as in infrequent) hamburger on a bun for example.

My appetite is about 75% of what it was prior. I graze more now. Eat less at meals, get hungry sooner afterward, and eat again. Sometimes my meals that don't get finished I just leave sitting on the counter; in an hour or so I'll go back and finish it. I've also noticed that motility is better. If I eat to the point of fullness (not uncomfortable fullness of course), and then walk around or even sit back with a cup of tea, 10-15 minutes later I can eat a little more. This is good for buffet restaurants, where I eat my small plate of food and finish before my husband is half-done with his mounded up plate. By the time he's halfway through his second plate and I'm sitting there bored, I can go have a dish of soup or a dessert (sugar-free of course!) or something - then we finish up at the same time.

I love to rearrange the furniture in my house, but heavy lifting is still off-limits. The last time I tried (a couple of months ago), I was in a world of hurt in the area of my wrap for 2-3 days afterward. I've since read that heavy lifting is never a good idea after a wrap, no matter how long it's been since the surgery. This isn't a huge issue to me anymore since the arthritis in my spine also limits lifting, but just another difference.

Raw vegetables was another thing my surgeon warned me against, both for digestibility and for gas issues. I can eat small amounts, but they do give me a bellyache if I eat too much, and they do increase the level of gas I need to get rid of. So I can eat them, but I limit them. Gone are the days of eating a whole head of cauliflower dipped in ranch dressing in one day!

Even though the early days were more difficult for me than most, recovery was slower and more painful, and I do have some (minor!) limits now, I would do it again in a heartbeat. And, in cases like mine where all else has failed, I would definitely recommend it. It is a major surgery, it is life-altering, and it physically changes the inside of our bodies, permanently. It has a fairly high failure rate (depending on who you ask), and can cause more problems than it was intended to solve in a few cases. For these reasons it isn't a surgery that should be taken lightly or gone into without a lot of research and prayer. But for me, it was literally a lifesaver and many times every single day I am thankful that I had the opportunity to get it done!

11 Months! #fundoplication

2011-11-03T08:38:00.000-07:00

This is a post that I made to the Facebook Nissen Fundoplication group (a closed group but FULL of helpful people!) in reply to someone who wondered if life is ever normal again after this procedure. It pretty much sums up my life now, so I am reposting it here as my 11-month update.

"It's been 11 months for me. I consider it a 'new normal' and certainly 100% better than my 'life' (if I could even consider it that) before. I take smaller bites. I chew more thoroughly. I keep a warm beverage handy especially when eating things that I know have a tendency to stick (breads - even my home-made low-carb breads - and roasted pork mostly). I don't drink anything with carbonation and avoid caffeine. I keep simethicone tablets for when I eat 'gassy' foods because I totally love vegetables and they are a huge part of my diet as a low-carber. I have to stop eating at the first sign of fullness, or expect PAIN which I'm sure is a sign that there is pressure or stretching at my wrap - not a good thing if I want my wrap not to fail! I think that's about it. But it's all 2nd nature now, and it's normal now and certainly MUCH less restrictive and easier than how I had to eat before the NF surgery. . Back then I not only had to worry about what I ingested would cause but how it would taste or feel coming back up."

Here, I would add that prior to the surgery I was very apprehensive about what life would be like afterward. I'm a lifelong foodie. I'm happiest when I'm dealing with food, creating recipes and cooking and planning meals and grocery-shopping...and I was sure that all of this would come to a screeching halt after such a major change to my gut. AND I WAS WRONG. With a few minor changes as listed above, the foodie part of me still lives, and lives well! Even better, in fact, because I no longer get sick every time I eat!

This is a surgery that is considered a last resort, after all else has been tried, and especially where Barrett's is involved. (As a side note: less than 1% of people with Barrett's develop esophageal cancer, which is the greatest fear of many who have it. I have it, but don't fear it. There is a separate procedure where a surgeon can ablate the damaged tissue.)

So I know that nobody goes into NF lightly. It dramatically alters our digestive tract, and there's no going back. It has a higher failure rate (especially over time) than most surgeries, according to most. There is a long recovery, and no, life is not ever the same afterward.

It is hard when people are where I was a year ago, with their fears and anxieties...and it is impossible to fully share my joy in life now, compared to before, because their fears get in the way. And it is true that this surgery doesn't always have such a positive outcome, certainly; nobody can guarantee that everyone who has this procedure will have the same great results that I did. But I can - and do - happily share my own, and hope that it helps them :).

10 Months PostOp - and counting! #fundoplication

2011-10-06T21:17:00.000-07:00

Things are going well. Very well. My appetite, and the amount of food I'm able to eat, is now about 75% what it was before the surgery. I guess my stomach is adjusting? I still have occasional trouble with pork for some reason, and hamburgers on buns (which I rarely eat anyway), getting these stuck. But the pork situation is getting better.

One experience I did have, last month, was AWFUL! I had run out of my anti-nausea pills (Zofran) because, while I typically only take 1-2 a month, I had to take 2 in a single weekend. On Monday I planned to call my doctor for more, but I didn't get to it, then woke up with a massive headache and nausea on Tuesday morning. I called my doctor for a refill of the Zofran, and was told I had to get it from the surgeon's office. I called the surgeon's office and was told I had to get it from my primary doctor. Meanwhile, I started retching.

Talk about PAIN! It was awful. And I'd heard of stories where retching could cause failure of the wrap, so I was also afraid...and it was only getting worse. I had no choice but to get to the ER. My sister called ahead of time and explained, so that I could get some zofran as soon as I got there. But first I had to explain to the receptionist - who didn't know about the wrap, why I couldn't just vomit...then had to explain again to the triage nurse but thankfully she did, and got me a zofran tablet right away, the minute I got to the gurney.

(My "roommate" in the 2-bed room was a MAN! I didn't know they did that, it wasn't very comfortable for me, but really I was too sick to care.)

I was there for 9 hours, during which I got an IV, 3 doses of dilaudid for the headache and stomach pain, and 4 doses of Zofran. The last doses they gave me one of each to carry me over on the hour-long ride home, and I had an instantaneous reaction of extreme severe itching all the way up my arm and shoulder, so I got a dose of benedryl in my IV also. I was half-asleep and dopey as heck for the rest of the evening from all the drugs, but at least the retching had stopped (although nothing they gave me helped the headache).

The best part is, they gave me an rx for 20 more Zofran tablets. Lesson learned...no way will I let myself run out of them again.

Diet and #GERD

2011-07-13T08:55:00.000-07:00

This is NOT about the "standard GERD diet" that most doctors recommend, but that doesn't help so many people who are still living on antacids, PPI's, etc...this is different and, even if you believe that "low carb" is a fad diet (it isn't, but this isn't the place to debate it), if you are desperate or even want to try something different - and harmless - or avoid surgery or strong medications, read below, follow the links, see what others - including physicians and the MANY people for whom it worked - have shared, and consider if this might at least be worth a try for yourself.

My own personal experience: Only during a few months between 1991 and 2010 did my GERD ever abate, and that was when I first started eating low carb. Those first 3 months of eating this way were bliss! I could lay flat, I didn't cough and choke on my own stomach acids, I had amazing relief! And I was eating lots of fats also, tons of fatty foods, as most low carb plans are NOT high protein as so many of its detractors (and the press) would have you believe, but rather high fat. The body uses fats for energy much more efficiently than it uses sugars and starches, which are part of the problem for many - if not most - GERD sufferers.

However, one slice of bread - low carb bread - or a single dish of low-carb cereal or one cookie, and it all came back. I could not tolerate ANY grains whatsoever. I have read reports of GERD sufferers who, after eliminating wheat in all its forms from their diet, found relief; apparently wheat sensitivity is quite common (as is lactose/dairy) although most are unaware, and eliminating these foods can help. But in my case, any grains at all in my system would start the reflux which, a few years later, became violent.

This is no secret. It is well-known by some in the medical profession and all of us who have lived it, that eliminating grains and sugars (even "natural sugars" - sugar is sugar is sugar) and in some cases dairy from the diet can bring relief from even the worst reflux issues for many people and do for them what myriad drugs had not, enabling them to start living their lives normally again. If you are having reflux issues but are wary of the NF surgery...if you have a failed wrap...if your surgery wasn't effective for whatever reason...there are some resources that you may want to check out. Read and learn and, maybe, give yourself some relief :).

Heartburn Cured, from the blog of Michael R. Eades, MD (medical)

How Low-Carb Improves Acid Reflux, from The Migraineur (anecdotal)

Reader who cured GERD with low-carb diet interviewed on TV, from The Healthy Skeptic (video)

Low Carb Plus Raw Veg for GERD, Life Extension Forum (anecdotal)

My GERD is Cured! Low-carb Hits the Mark, from Pain, Pain, Go Away! (anecdotal)

Low Carb and Heartburn (forum, anecdotal, multiple)

GERD Sufferers, Rejoice! from Mark's Daily Apple (informational)A Low Carb Diet for GERD

Gastro-Esophageal Reflux Disease (GERD), but Thomas Cowan, MD (medical)

Links: Doctor's Post-Op Guidelines after Laparoscopic Nissen #Fundoplication

2011-07-07T11:52:00.000-07:00

This is a list for those who have questions, and also to show the VAST differences in how different surgeons instruct their patients. My own doctor was fairly conservative in his instructions, which was consistent with my own reading of patient accounts. It seemed that the people that had the most issues many times ate too much - or the wrong things - too soon, or resumed activity - or strenuous activity - too soon. Anyway, you will see below that recommendations do vary widely, and since we are all different, the doctor who actually did the surgery, along with our own gradual experimentation will be our best guide :).

Since there are so many, I'm just listing 10 to provide the basic ideas. But if you search the web, you will find LOTS more.

from Winchester Surgeons, Winchester, TN

from Aaron S. Bransky, MD, Plano, TX

from Casco Bay Surgery
, Portland, Maine

from Surgical Specialist of Plano, Plano, TX

from The Crawford Clinic, Anniston, AL

from Surgical Associates, PC (multiple locations)

from Newton-Wellesley Surgeons, Inc., Newton, MA

from Oregon Surgical Specialists, Medford, OR

from Tampa Bay Surgical Group, Bradenton, FL

From Cedar Surgical, Tacoma, WA

7-Month Post-Op Update #fundoplication

2011-07-05T21:29:00.000-07:00

First, I have been more careful with lifting/pushing since my June 15th entry, and have no more problems with that type of pain.

Second, my eating is going fine, still mainly pork that gets stuck, although I did have on incident of bread sticking. I still haven't tried my beloved raw cauliflower and broccoli, sooner or later I might but I got the sternest warnings about those from my surgeon, so I don't really want to try - yet.

Third, I've made these awful noises every so often since the surgery. I think they're awful anyway, my husband says it's not so bad...but on the Nissen Fundoplication group on Facebook there was a discussion of these sounds by some of the members; they described it like a seal barking (yeah, that's it!) and the conclusion is that it is caused by some sort of spasm in the esophagus. No word from them on iAdf it ever goes away, but I guess I will find that out on my own, given enough time.

Fourth, I am afraid to hope, but I think I MIGHT be burping! I don't know if that's good or bad, but I think I've burped a couple of times, not just the shallow burps from air in my esophagus before it ever reaches my wrap, but real burps. When it happens I'm not paying that much attention so that I can properly identify where it came from, but maybe...

Fifth, I bent over after eating one day, and felt this awful yet familiar feeling in my throat...it took a few seconds to recognize it as ACID! I was horrified, certain that my wrap was failing, and got myself pretty worked up. However, it hasn't happened since. Put together with what I just wrote, it would make sense that IF air is coming back up at times, it could bring a little bit of acid (which I know my stomach is still full of!) with it. But it doesn't seem to be a sign of wrap failure, since it only happened that once, a couple of weeks ago. I even tested my wrap by eating something and then laying down flat on my bed to fall asleep. Nothing. I'm good.

And happy :).

Quick Update - Pain from ???

2011-06-15T09:39:00.001-07:00

All things great, except for occasional belly pain. It has felt like acid so I've continued taking Ranitidine (one of the meds I used pre-op) on the assumption that I still have lots of acid down there, it's just no longer coming up. However the last couple of days I've had some sharp pains around the area of my wrap that started soon after twisting my body as I tossed a large bucket of water up over a railing. I've really slowed down a lot since then, as doing too much adds more pain, just in case a stitch started to tear through or something. No reflux or even heartburn, but just the pain.

Last night the pain kept me awake much of the night. It felt like acid but I'd taken the Ranitidine at bedtime, but it also felt sharp in that same spot. Logically I'm thinking, "OK, so maybe there's a little tear from the other day, and when I lay down a little acid leaks into it and causes so much pain?" Not sure...I don't think I'm going to call the doc just yet, but rather I will go back to small meals, softer food, and not a whole lot of water-bucket-tossing, and see if things calm down. If they don't - or get worse - or I start refluxing again - I'll be calling the doc for sure! Loving this post-NF life and not willing to go back! :)

What Caused THAT?!?!?

2011-06-06T13:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had a potluck after church. Not sure what I ate, but whatever it was, I had the same pain - BAD pain - that I had when I had eaten 3 salads plus a big slab of raw onion a few months ago. AWFUL pain! I know I didn't eat that many raw veggies...there were probably some in the potato salad but not that much really - it was mostly potatoes! And actually I was fine throughout the meal, it was only when I ate the dessert (yes, I go off-plan for these monthly potlucks at church, I love tasting everyone else's culinary offerings!): a sliver of cherry-something-or-other, and a sliver of pumpkin pie with a dollop - ok, a generous dollop - ok a MOUND - of whipped cream. I've eaten whipped cream without issue, even though it is so full of air.

So really, I don't know. Simethicone didn't help, nothing did. We had to leave apruptly. I went to my room and found the most comfortable position that I could on the bed with my bean bag at the head, and sweated it out, finally falling asleep from exhaustion once it started to subside, the pain had taken so much out of me.

Wish I knew what caused it, so I could avoid it in the future!

Tomorrow, It Will Be 6 Months!

2011-05-31T17:25:00.000-07:00

All is well. Still, the only thing I seem to choke on (unless I take a large swallow of something) is cooked pork. Do fine with beef and eat a lot of it. Do fine with bread (I make my own low carb loaves) and rice and other things that seem to cause choking in other folks with a wrap. Why pork? I still wonder about that...

Still haven't introduced raw broccoli or cauliflower even though I do fine with cole slaw, or the occasional carrot, salads of all kinds of greens, and raw onion (in moderation - too much will give me a SERIOUS bellyache!).

One change in the last month: I have started burping a little. I have always burped "shallow" burps, such as when I swallow an air bubble, it comes back up before it ever reaches my wrap. But just in the last week or so I have burped several times. They were small, and not the glorious belches of old - lol! - but nonetheless they brought relief from minor discomfort.

Which brings me to something else: I hope this isn't an indication that my wrap is losing integrity. I don't have heartburn or any reflux whatsoever, and I'm SO careful of my wrap...I probably worry too much :).

Still losing weight. Then again, still eating low carb and have increased my fats which has always caused weight loss for me. I'm about 50# down from my pre-surgery weight according to my own scale which never is the same as doctor's scales but should be close. Lost a pound last week, another 3# this week...and I hate what it is doing to my body but I told my surgeon I would lose weight so I'm sticking to it, being a woman of my word...

I'm drinking coffee again too! Did I mention that last month in my update? I know I've written that I LOVED coffee before the surgery, and it tasted awful to me for months afterward. Well it tastes great again :). This makes me happy. However, I have not gone back to my 6-7 big mugs of the stuff every day, and plan to have my cup in the morning and one after supper and that's it - decaf of course. And I still drink my decaf tea. And bottled water, and sugar-free drink mixes. I am drinking a lot more than I did before the surgery, I think - back then it was coffee or nothing. Now I am constantly drinking something or other. But only DECAF! And, of course, nothing carbonated.

And one last thing, which I have mentioned before but it is still the case that I have to take my 150 mg Ranitadine twice a day, or I get HORRIBLE belly pain. My stomach is undoubtedly still churning out way too much acid - just because it isn't shooting out like a volcano through my mouth and nose anymore doesn't mean it isn't there, I'm certain. If I miss a single dose, PAIN and lots of it! So I will continue with that as well. The only other cause of pain is heavy lifting, such as moving furniture. I thought that was just because I was post-op but just read on the Facebook NF group that this is common, sometimes even years after the surgery. That makes sense I suppose, if something causes pulling around the sutures or something.

All is well, most days I don't even think about my wrap anymore as everything comes second-nature to me now (chewing well, swallowing small amounts, not using the straw I'm given at restaurants or ordering pop, keeping a warm-almost-hot beverage nearby when eating cooked pork, etc.). Life is normal - a new normal, but normal nonetheless, and not so much changed from before as I had previously feared :).

That Darned Pork! (5-month post-op update)

2011-05-04T13:31:00.000-07:00

Nothing really gets stuck that I eat anymore...except PORK! What is it about pork that it sticks?? I can eat any other kinds of meat, even beef brisket, but even the most tender pork roast gets stuck unless I give extra attention to chewing (very well) and swallowing (only the tiniest of amounts at a time)! I don't understand it. No problem with breads or rice, which other people have mentioned being problematic, although admittedly I eat very little of either since I'm a low carb eater. But pork...I just don't get it!

As far as belly pain or bloating, none of that unless I go crazy on raw greens and veggies. Which I occasionally do. But not often. If I take a simethecone first it helps.

Flatulence...nobody told me about that! I guess since I don't burp anymore, all that air has to go somewhere!

Acid...yeah, I'm guessing that my stomach is still churning it out. PPIs are so expensive, I can't afford to stay on them forever, but I take 150mg ranitidine morning and night and that seems to keep the acid levels down. Of course the acid isn't coming up anymore - the whole point of the surgery - but I can still feel it in my stomach, causing discomfort and burning, if I don't take something to keep it under control. Which the ranitidine does, and only costs about USD$4/month.

Altogether, it's all good :). Have adjusted to Life After a Wrap, and it isn't much different than life before a wrap. Except it's a lot better. A lot less painful. A lot more normal. A lot less hassle. Except for that darned pork...

4 Months Today!

2011-04-01T20:07:00.000-07:00

That's when I had my life-changing surgery! The first of every month is a milestone for me, and a reminder of what my life used to be like...

Everything is going really well, so I just have a couple of things I just want to mention on this monthiversary :).

First, I'm still losing weight, although whether it is still from the surgery or whether it is from the low-carb/high-fat diet that I follow is hard to say. Due to my constant digestive issues pre-op I didn't adhere as closely to this healthy eating plan as I had the first few years I'd been on it (it will be 7 years tomorrow), and there were many times I was too ill to cook and I just ate whatever someone else made for me. But I do know that I had lost much of my passion for creating and serving wonderful "cheap'n'easy" low carb meals, when I was in so much pain it was hard to be passionate about anything. I was just trying to get through every day the best that I could. But my passion is back, I'm shopping and cooking myself once again, and that could be a reason for my continuing loss. I do know that the clothes I was wearing pre-surgery are now baggy on me, although I haven't stopped at the doctor's office for a weigh-in in a couple of months. But my health is more important to me than my weight, and I'm enjoying that a lot!

Second, I posted something on the nissen fundoplication group on Facebook a few days ago in response to someone else's post, and I felt I should copy/paste it here as well. Probably THE most important thing I had to do after my surgery was to relearn, and listen to, my body's signals. They were different than before, and in so doing I have had to relearn how to eat. Here is what I wrote (with minor changes to protect the other person's privacy):
"...from the first sip I took after my surgery I have been paying very close attention to my body's signals. The first few weeks were hard because the signals felt different than they did for the first 53 years of my life, but I'm getting used to it now. The 2nd thing I had to retrain myself to do was to stop eating at the first sign of fullness. After a lifetime of continuing to eat even after I was no longer hungry (just because I enjoyed it so much) it has been hard to do. I don't want to stretch or in any way threaten the integrity of my wrap, and risk having issues later that other people have had; that's the big picture, and it is always on my mind when I am tempted to eat more even after my belly tells me it has had enough. It is a matter of listening and obeying the signals I get...probably the thing that has been working best for me is to not do anything else (watch TV, engage in conversation, etc) but to think about my eating: chewing very well, swallowing only small bits at a time, concentrating on how it feels going down and how my stomach is accepting it and if it is done eating or not (even if I still want more!)..."

So all is well after 4 months! No digestive issues of any kind, not even a hint of heartburn, and life is good :).

Other Adjustments

2011-03-21T09:36:00.000-07:00

As I have been feeling so much better I have become very active. My days of living in my recliner on pain pills and other meds and doing as little as possible just to get by seem to be over, praise God! I have a couple of things about my ongoing recovery (in the broadest sense of the word) that I want to mention here.

First, even though I BELIEVE my post-op weight loss has subsided - there was no loss at all for about 2-3 weeks - I'm losing weight eating normally than I ever did before. I have eaten a low carb diet for about 7 years now, and as I've noted, during the early days of recovery I didn't worry too much about whether I ate carbs or not; I was eating so little that it didn't matter. And of course we all know that low carb eating isn't just about weight loss - far from it in fact. That it keeps my blood lipids in good balance and that I'm not harming my body with sugars is the main thing...anyway, I've always been able to lose, or stop losing, by adjusting my macronutrient balance. As long as I kept my fat intake at 75%, or thereabouts, and strictly limited my intake of sugars and starches, I would lose quite well. When I wanted to stop losing, I would continue to limit sugars and starches from my diet but wouldn't concern myself with forcing such high quantities of fats. NOW, however, although I still get most of my calories from fat, even without deliberately eating so much of it, I am losing. It is something very different to how my body responded pre-surgery. So, I've started dropping weight again which is something that I don't like, for many reasons, but that I'd promised my surgeon I would do. So I will have to put up with the rest which is really not as bad as not keeping my word.

Second: I'm sleeping a LOT! I'm just guessing here, but I'm thinking that my body - which will be adjusting to the changes in it for a whole year, according to the surgeon - is wondering what is going on with all of this activity it isn't used to! Between the GERD and some other health issues with which I've suffered the last few years (serious food poisoning with nerve damage causing motility issues and blockages in my digestive tract in 2006, a "cerebrovascular event" with some months of debilitating neuro issues in 2008, arthritis in my spine and elsewhere, just as examples) I have really lived a very sedentary life. Now, however, with most of my health issues either resolved or adapted to, I feel better than I have in probably 5 years. So I am doing more - a LOT more - than I have in that time. It is my guess that these 9, 10, and 11 hour nights of sleep are simply my body saying, "Whoa! Gotta catch up to you here!" That's ok, I can accommodate my body's needs :).

These are just a couple of things that I wanted to mention as my ongoing adjustment continues. I'm still eating well, experiencing no pain as long as I don't overeat which I don't do because I don't want to stress my wrap, still having the occasional food "stick" when I'm not paying attention and swallow too much at once (sticking seems to be related more to how much I swallow than what I'm eating, but that's different for everybody), and still marveling every single night at being able to lay down and sleep flat in my bed!

100 Days!

2011-03-10T21:00:00.000-08:00

Yup, today is my 100-day mark since my surgery, which was the time that the doctor told me I needed to be extra careful. He said that full recovery will be a year but this first 100 days were "critical"...and so I am glad they are over...

And I feel great! I forget I've even had surgery most of the time, even when I'm eating I don't often think of it, but do remember most of the time to take tiny bites and eat slowly. But this is truly my new normal, and doesn't feel strange anymore.

My weight loss from the surgery seems to have let up, which is fine with me. I'm still a fat lady :) but this is how I've chosen to stay for the last 6+ years after my 90# weight loss in 2004 after changing my diet to a low carb/high fat plan. I will probably continue to lose, but it will be at my pace, and by my own choice as I adjust macronutrient levels to lose or level off as I see fit.

Overall, I am still so thankful that I've been able to have this surgery and that my life is so much better now! I have so much energy without the constant pain, the only thing stopping me is arthritis (spine, hips, right knee and foot) but I can take drugs for that and keep on going!

So this is my new life, and I love it!

3-month Anniversary! and Uh-oh...I Shouldn't Have Done THAT! #fundoplication

2011-03-01T19:53:00.000-08:00

Things have been going so well, and so smoothly for me these last few weeks, that I often forget that I've even HAD the surgery! Occasionally something will get stuck where my esophagus now narrows, but, once I can swallow again, a few very warm sips of tea usually help things pass; I don't think I've ever felt "stuck" for more than 10 minutes, thank God! To those of you who've been-there-done-that, it's an awful feeling, isn't it???

It was 3 months ago today that I had the surgery that changed my life. I still consider it nothing short of a miracle, given the hell that I was living with 24/7 for the last few years. (Although the GERD and hiatal hernia started 19 years before, symptoms were controlled with meds and diet until probably 4 years ago.) It hasn't been so long that those memories have faded much, and I thank God for using others to make this possible many times a day!

It is 2nd nature to drink my water in a restaurant without a straw now, and to order decaf tea instead of coffee or diet cola...not to say that I haven't wanted a good swig of a cold cola once or twice. But since I've never been much of a pop drinker to begin with, it quickly passes. And those have really been my only limitations. Of all the things that my surgeon warned me about, at least. I'm eating bread without issues, especially toasted but also "raw"; I make a low carb bread in my bread maker that is just about as close to the real thing as I've ever tasted, and it's moist and chewy - if anything were going to get stuck it would be that! And, in fact, it has gotten stuck in my wrap but just once. Again, as is typical for sticking incidents, they happen when I'm not paying attention - conversing or watching TV as I eat - and I swallow too much at a time.

The last "hurdle" will be raw vegetables. I've been eating a few, like salads and cole slaw, tomatoes (yes, I know they are really fruits), but that's about it. I've eaten a lot of cooked vegetables, almost everything I ever did, but I do avoid cabbage, cauliflower, and broccoli due to their "gassiness". I have had a bite here and there of each when they are cooked, but for the most part I avoid them.

My surgeon warned me, though, that raw veggies will be something I probably won't be able to tolerate for a very long time, if ever. Still, I've had the occasional lettuce salad...so I thought nothing of ordering the house salad at Shaker's in Prudenville earlier today. It is lovely, with various greens, water chestnuts, tomato, onion, bacon, croutons, and their own secret dressing. I have always loved it. And tonight I ate 3 dishes of it. (Yes, friends, a free refill - AND homemade bread to boot! But I didn't eat the bread.) Then I ordered a hamburger patty with mushrooms and melted swiss, a thick slab of raw onion, and some mustard...Even though I couldn't eat it all (not even close, after all that salad!), I truly enjoyed what I was able to eat...until a few minutes after I finished.

God help me (literally, that was my prayer!), the pain in my gut...my left shoulder...it took my breath away. Every movement was agony. It hurt as much as right after the surgery, I haven't had pain like that since, until tonight. Was it the 3 dishes of salad? the slab of raw onion? or all of it together? I don't know but I thought I was going down, right there in the restaurant. The only thing that made it tolerable was that I've read reports of others with a wrap who ate the wrong thing, and the pain lasted about 30 minutes, and I could stand anything for 30 minutes...and I did, in the end, and of course lived to write about it :).

But I think Doc was right about the raw vegetables. A little here or there hasn't bothered me...but tonight I wasn't even thinking about my wrap, or limitations, only about the wonderful food...until it was too late.

So, overall, the last 3 months have been great healing and more enjoyable eating, a total absence of reflux or acid in my mouth, nose, and ear canals, no more waking up to projectile vomiting...I sleep laying down for the first time in years, and between being able to sleep in bed with my husband again, or getting so much more enjoyment from food, I'm not sure which I'm happier about! But those, as well as a normal life - bending down to tie my shoes, or pick up my grandson, without that awful pain and acid coming up...those are just things that I never thought I'd be able to do!

Yes, it was a great decision, it was worth the pain and the disruption to my life - but mostly to the lives of others who helped me and even made it possible - and it is even worth the pain when I forget about it and eat the wrong things :).

I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat!

11 Weeks Post-Op

2011-02-08T21:55:00.000-08:00

Cauliflower! Popcorn! These are 2 of the foods I reintroduced back into my diet this week. The cauliflower was in the form of fauxtatoes, a standard low carb dish where the cauli is cooked, mashed, and mixed with other ingredients (in my case, sour cream and butter). I ate about a half cup, with no problems or issues whatsoever!

Then I grew bold, and decided to try popcorn, heavily buttered. I ate less than 2 cups but had no problems. I ate one piece at a time, and chewed extremely well. And no issues :).

I still have problems with sticking now and again. Pork roast (too big a bite, concentrating on conversation instead of chewing) was one problem. And meatloaf, that I was trying to eat without ketchup or gravy, got stuck a different day. It was just too dry.

But overall things are just fine, no issues, and I am now eating everything except raw vegetables - although I am eating cole slaw and also greens in salads - and of course carbonated beverages.

I also have most of my energy back. Occasionally I will "hit a wall" but 90% of the time I'm living the kind of life I had many years ago, before all this - and my other issues - started. And it's all good :).

60-Days Post Op - and BREAD!

2011-02-02T18:53:00.000-08:00

As a low carber (for nearly 7 years), bread is rarely on my menu anyway. I eat a low carb, homemade version of it for toast and occasional sandwich (never been a big sandwich eater), but occasionally I will eat "real" bread, from the store, as long as it has 6gN/slice or less...I just don't care for everything they put into it, and try to avoid wheat where possible.

So. My surgeon had said that I shouldn't try to eat bread for a long time - I don't recall how long but I remember thinking that it wouldn't be a big deal since it isn't a regular part of my diet anyway, and I had his approval for my home made, grain-free version anyway.

I had tried toast a few weeks ago, with no problem. And today I had bread (the store-bought low carb version). I really REALLY wanted a burger with ketchup, it was the wee hours of the morning and I wasn't up to making my usual homemade kind, and there were 2 slices of bread left. I decided it was a good time to try bread.

I ate it carefully, swallowing only small bites, and not drinking a lot of my beverage with it. (Doc said the problem with bread is how much it swells up after it is swallowed.) I had no problem with sticking, and it didn't cause any discomfort afterward.

I was pleased. The only thing I haven't yet tried is raw vegetables, other than cole slaw; Dr. Fourman had told me I could try them "maybe after a year" - although he said that cole slaw would be ok now. I'll probably take that literally, and maybe try them at Christmastime this year :).

Anyway, I know I can't ever have carbonated beverages, no great loss to me since I've never been much of a pop drinker, so I don't even consider them. I was interested in the bread thing, though, and will be beyond thrilled when I can eat raw veggies again - no matter how long it takes.

So now, 2 months post op, I'm pretty much eating everything I want. I'm still very careful to chew thoroughly, and have had a few things get stuck when I didn't. It is a miserable feeling but it passes...

One other thing: I had mentioned bellyaches last week, and that I was planning to try taking the protonix every morning again. I did that, and it has solved that problem. No bellyaches or discomfort since.

I'm really pleased at how good I feel and how I can eat, and the lack of all the issues that have plagued me for years.

A REAL Blog Post! (Update)

2011-01-25T17:16:00.000-08:00

Just thought I'd post an update since I haven't done so in a while...

Healing continues. I'm able to eat just about anything now - including bread if it is toasted - but haven't done raw vegetables yet. Probably will be a very long time before I try those, other than cole slaw which the doc said I shouldn't have a problem with. But I'm eating most vegetables cooked now, even cabbage! I take anti-gas pills first to try and prevent bloating. No problems.

But about a week ago I started having some belly discomfort. I wondered if it was from the yerba mate but after 2 days without it, no improvement. It was worse after eating, and has progressively worsened day by day. I don't have a sense that there is anything wrong with my wrap itself, however, as it is still doing its job very well. So I backed off on my food portions (even though I don't overeat, or eat until I'm really full), and ate less more often...still no relief.

Last night I realized that I've gotten out of the habit of taking Protonix every morning. It's probably been a couple of weeks since I've taken it. Just because I don't have constant reminders of the acid in my stomach via the GERD, doesn't mean it isn't there, I'm guessing? So this morning I started back up on the Protonix, in the event that it's irritation from too much acid.

On the other hand - my activities are back up to normal levels (I cleaned all 8 bird cages today and vacuumed, moved some furniture, for example) and, even though others do everything within a few weeks of their surgery, my doctor gave me that 100-day thing, to go easy. Probably those other people were in better physical shape going into their surgery than I was...who knows?

So I still have a bit of "ruling out" to do before I'd have to call the doctor.

I may have mentioned that I stopped biting my nails? I've bitten them for half a century - yes, since I was a toddler - and now I am cutting them twice a week to keep them shorter than my fingertips. I don't like how they feel but I like how they look and they are turning out to be rather useful too! Having fingernails wasn't a side effect of the surgery that I had anticipated, but nail bits weren't part of my liquid and soft food diets after surgery - lol.

I continue to lose weight. I don't know how much exactly since my home scale isn't too accurate (but the needle keeps going lower), it was 27# when I was at my family doctor a couple of weeks ago. I can stop in there anytime to check, I'm sure. I know that this is a side effect that won't last forever :) but I'm back on my lowcarb diet that I've followed since April 3, 2004 - nearly 7 years - and, well, I'll write more about that in my Cheap'n'Easy Low Carb blog...

So all is well! I'm just loving being able to sleep laying down in my bed instead of up in my recliner, no waking with reflux in my ear canals or nose in the middle of the, no more worrying about every bite that goes into my mouth (although the reflux was there whether or not I ate anything, and no matter what it was)...just normal life. I can't stop being thankful for this, or for the opportunity to have it done. I just feel so normal now, I had forgotten what that felt like!

And that is my 8-week post-op update :).

Sometimes We Have to be Selfish

2011-01-12T19:09:00.000-08:00

Yeah. Even Christians. Sometimes you pray and pray, but it doesn't change other people, people who are determined to do things that are detrimental to themselves and to those around them - even the most innocent...but who steadfastly believe they aren't harming anyone or that their own choices and desires are all that matter. Sooner or later they learn but almost always after the damage is done...and when faced with someone thus determined day in and day out, stress is the natural result.

I started to look up articles on stress and health, stress and healing, etc. but the articles are too numerous to list. Let's just say that the effects of stress are known to be detrimental not only to the emotional well-being of people, but to the physical as well, and when one is trying to recover from physical trauma (such as a major surgery for example) or physical illness, healing is slowed by about 40% according to some of the sources I just read.

So sometimes, after an incredible battle has been fought for health, including heavy financial investments, it is time to say, "I cannot let this work against me and everything I've been fighting for." The toll on the innocent will be heavy, although delayed; the toll on those continually being lied to or treated without respect or consideration, day after day, week after week, month after month can only continue when it is allowed.

Then we reach a point where we realize. And have to make the decision that it has got to stop.

What a Difference a Day Makes!

2011-01-11T05:47:00.000-08:00

It is now Tuesday morning. Yesterday I had almost no shortness of breath at all, and, although I got tired easily (I think I lost some ground in my healing process from the wrap surgery over the last week!) I was able to do pretty much everything I wanted to do. Just more slowly and with more breaks.

But the big thing is, I felt more normal than I have in I-don't-know-how-long! Certainly the last few years, when even "normal" days were painful and I had to be careful what I did and ate...but yesterday I ate what I wanted, nothing hurt me, and I did what I wanted, and nothing hurt me.

THIS is the start of the future that I have been looking forward to! I will continue to rest when tired of course (about in the middle of that 100-day stretch now), but my stamina I'm sure will increase as the days go on, and I can see what my future holds and it is all good!

The Art of Compromise #lowcarb

2011-01-10T14:19:00.000-08:00

There are a couple of schools of thought among low carbers...well, more than a couple, but for the purpose of this post, I will mention 2: one says that if you find low carb substitutes for the carby foods you are used to, you will have greater success; the other says if you learn to do without the carby foods you are used to, you will have greater success. Obviously neither is absolutely true 100% of the time, but each is mostly true to whoever lives by it.

I started out, nearly 7 years ago, believing the latter. And did very well with it for the first year or so. Of course there were some things I felt I could not forgo completely - such as Chinese buffet restaurants - so I compromised, with a trip to one per month. Gradually I evolved to the first school of thought, and learned or created ways to have what I wanted but in a safe, non-carby way. And this is pretty much how I have lived ever since. I do still choose a carby food or meal - or even a day! - once in a while but overall, 90% of the time at least, I eat low carb equivalents to the carby foods I enjoyed before.

After my nissen fundoplication last month I knew I would have to undergo diet changes, and one of them is giving up the so-called "gassy vegetables". This includes cauliflower, which meant no more mashed "potatoes"! Cauliflower is a substitute for quite a few low carb foods, but mostly, for me, it was my mashed "potatoes".

For the first few weeks of my recovery, when I was eating very soft foods to allow my stomach to heal, I didn't think or worry about carbs. It was hard enough just getting nutrition into my 3- or 4-bite minimeals. And I wasn't eating enough food to gain weight certainly. A side effect of this surgery is weight loss, even though it isn't a WLS, so I had no worries - I just had to eat what didn't hurt me. And one of those things was mashed potatoes. I kept a box of instant because they are easy to make up just a tiny amount, and they worked so well for me that I still have some on hand. And, since I can't make the standard fauxtatoes, I have found a way to compromise on mashed potatoes.

(Let me note here that regular potatoes, mashed, are way carbier than instant.)

I haven't done the carb count - haven't actually counted my carbs in years - but here is how I am able to enjoy mashed potatoes with my meal, once or twice a week:

- 1/4c heavy cream
- 1/4c (1/2 stick) real butter
- 1/2c full-fat sour cream
- 1/2c water
Combine the above in a small casserole dish and microwave on high for 4 minutes; remove and stir until smooth.
- 2/3c instant potatoes (mine have 14gN per 1/3c) which is less than the directions on the box, don't let that throw you if you try these
- 1/2c finely shredded cheese (I've been using colby-jack)
- S&P to taste
Stir in cheese until melted; add instant potato flakes and stir until smooth; S&P to taste; return to microwave for 1 minute on high; stir one last time.

This makes 4 nice-sized servings. For the potato flake portion, that's 7gN carbs. Everything else that's in there is very low carb. I'm guessing maybe 10gN per portion. Which isn't a bad compromise at all!

Here is the disclaimer: If you believe you shouldn't consume any starches at all, then don't make this for yourself. If you are morally opposed to potato flakes, then please don't purchase them as your hard-earned cash will be supporting their continued use.

As time goes on and I am seeing that I need to alter my low carb lifestyle to fit within the limitations of my "wrap" (the affectionate pet name that most of us call our fundoplications) I am hopeful that I will be able to continue to eat as low carb as I have for so long. But if I need to get creative, I will not be afraid - I will venture forth and find new ways of doing old things. Because that's MY school of thought :).

Some Health Thoughts, and Other Miscellany

2011-01-07T18:39:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry, I can't wrap my head around the "muscle pull" diagnosis that I came home from the hospital with. It makes no sense to me whatsoever. I couldn't BREATHE for heaven's sake! Pressure around my ribs...anyway, none of it makes sense. It has been suggested that perhaps my muscles are being used so differently due to the rearranging of my guts and how I move and hold my body since the pain and bloating are gone, compared to before with the constant pain. This may hold a little more water, but there is another theory - not put forth by the doctor - that makes more sense.

My friend Connie suggested this could be part of a detox, something that doctors don't acknowledge or discuss. I have been losing weight quickly, releasing toxins stored in body fat, plus I gave up caffeine cold turkey the day before my surgery on December 1st, plus I was on so many heavy-duty painkillers through much of December that were trying to get out of my system...this makes a lot of sense also, that getting rid of all of the effects and toxins from caffeine and drugs and whatever is being left as the fat is going - well, wherever fat goes.

Since I have been out of the hospital, the dyspnea has been improving. However, my chest still feels pressure, and tight inside, like I can't take a deep breath. I can, but it feels like I can't, and there is tightness when I do. And I have to push and force out the last of the air. And I am fatigued. And I have pain around my ribs.

Today I had a fundoplication-related issue. Drank some chocolate milk, and the pain was horrible! My stomach wanted to sent it back but since the surgery nothing can come back up. I was near tears, and there's nothing to do. I took a Zofran but how can I tell if it helped? It didn't give me relief, but maybe kept it from being even worse...but that was one miserable half-hour.

And today I started with a UTI as well. I'm drinking tons of water (and a little decaf tea)...taking cranberry (3000 mg every few hours)...taking OTC phenazopyridine hydrochloride tablets...but it has been miserable, as only those who have suffered from these can understand.

Between all of the above, I just feel like a sick person. I thought by this time, over 5 weeks post op, I would be feeling better than I have in years, not like a sick person. But I want to go to bed and sleep until it is all fixed and better and I can feel and act and BE healthy...

The black depression seems to have started lifting. It started to lift, oddly enough, in the hospital. I have some theories as to why, but they're probably wrong anyway. I have felt, for the last few days, merely "blue" which is an improvement over "black". I even played my keyboard today, the first time I have actually wanted to play, or felt inspired to play, in weeks. And I'm starting to feel I want to get back to cooking and creating in my kitchen. I have a ways to go to get back to joy, but it will come, if this path continues. God is hearing the prayers of those who are interceding for me, and my own.

And now I'm going to make another post, about Sleepee...

My 1st Post-Fundoplication "I-shouldn't-have-eaten-that" MEGA-PAIN! #lowcarb #fundoplication

2011-01-07T17:26:00.000-08:00

First, what I ate today. Breakfast was smoked turkey and salami, chopped up together, with some dijon mustard drizzled on, then swiss melted over the top.

Never made it to lunch...due to story below...

Supper, because of my stomachache from lunch, was a small bowl of plain yogurt, full fat of course, with a little vanilla and a drop of liquid sucralose. I had no appetite but wanted something creamy and this was very nice.

So early this afternoon I was out and getting hungry, had a pill I needed to take, and saw one of those little plastic bottles of chocolate milk near the cash register. Grabbed it, thinking it would (a) take away the hunger pangs, (b) enable me to take my pill, and (c) be a nice little sweet treat since I hadn't had any in FOREVER. For about 26g of carbs it would be great! So I bought it, drank it, and by the time I got home I was WRITHING and moaning in pain. It was just awful! I've never had pain like that since my surgery last month, and I hope I never do again! My stomach wanted to send it back up but of course I can no longer vomit so it had no place to go. I took a Zofran but have no way of knowing if it helped at all, maybe the episode would have lasted longer or been more severe (how, I can't imagine!) without it? Anyway, it lasted nearly 30 minutes and that was a very very long 30 minutes!

My doctor didn't, but many surgeons who do these surgeries recommend against chocolate afterward. Now I know why...

So not much eaten today. Probably less than 35g of carbs, and definitely less than $5 total.

Low Carbing and My Hospital Experience #lowcarb

2011-01-06T18:31:00.000-08:00

I mentioned that my doctor tried to keep me on a "heart healthy" diet in the hospital. All those grains and sugars (natural and otherwise) would have made me sick...but let me back up. As they took my history, both this time and when I was admitted for my surgery last month, the nurses always gave me an incredulous look both when I told them that I am not diabetic, and when I told them that I don't have cholesterol issues. I'm a middle-aged fat woman after all, how can this be?

I can tell you how it would NOT be, and that is if I were following a "heart healthy" diet!

The doctor finally consented to give me a regular diet, so I would "have more choices" (read: eat more fats!) And after that I chose real egg dishes (an omelet NOT made with fake eggs), real meats/fish, things with cheese on them, etc. What I ate isn't that important; what is important is that I was in charge of what I ate, and didn't have to choose my foods from the low-fat/high-carb menu.

Anyway, while I was in there, I had every heart and lung and blood test there is, in addition to a test to check the integrity of my wrap (the nissen fundoplication that was done on Dec. 1st) - everything was perfect...beautiful...all clear...words my doctor used.

(On a side note, the nutritional lady from the dietary dept. came up to my room at one point to ask me if I had an explanation for the 20# weight loss over the last month, or did they need to check into a possible cause? Weight loss is a side effect of the nissan fundoplication I had, as I explained to her, along with low carb eating - even though I ate some carby foods during the first couple of weeks after the operation.)

To me, this plus the fact that I AM a middle-aged fat woman without cholesterol or diabetes issues, is all due to the low carb (5-10% of my intake), high fat (75ish%), moderate protein (15-20%) diet that I have lived on for nearly 7 years, and nothing else...especially considering I DID have a "prediabetic" label stuck on me, and high triglycerides and LDL with low HDL, in the months prior to starting my lowcarb way of life.

Once again, for the bazillionth time, the low carb way of life has been vindicated.

2011-01-06T08:44:00.000-08:00

It is good to be home again. Had a lovely #lowcarb breakfast of b/s chicken breast strips cooked in olive oil just until cooked through and very tender, seasoned with onion/garlic powders and sea salt, with melted havarti on top. Then I scraped all the crispy bits off the bottom of the skillet and sprinkled them on top...SO good!The hospital food wasn't bad, but they are all about low-fat, low-sodium and even the "low carb" staples are carby. I ordered a cream soup for one meal - guess what? It wasn't thickened with cream :(. Misnomer there...Anyway, I know what I am getting at home, and it is delicious and filling and lovely. Will blog later about my hospital stay at http://chiachatter.blogspot.com and about the food aspects of my stay at http://cheapeasylowcarb.blogspot com. http://amplify.com/u/bkqam

Back in the Hospital - UGH!!

2011-01-03T19:14:00.000-08:00

I just blogged about it at my other blog, now too tired to blog here but please go there to see what's what. Not that they know yet...but it's all there...

So...Dangit!

2011-01-03T19:10:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

Here's my update. After spending 6 hours in the ER getting morphine for "chest pain" I was admitted. I came in because I can't catch my breath, and there is a band of tightness or pressure around my rib cage. I have pain that waxes and wanes but it isn't my chief complaint - or even any complaint. But they seem focused on "chest pain" - once they see a history of cardiac issues they zoom right in on that, and don't seem to hear me when I tell them this type of pain feels like it is from this band of pressure, and is nothing like any angina I've ever had. It has been determined that I have chest pain and nothing I can say is changing that. That I can't catch my breath unless I've got O2 flowing up my nostrils seems to be an unwelcome distraction to them.

All of my tests have come back fine. Tomorrow will be a lot more tests, mostly cardiac but I will also have to repeat a test that is related to my fundoplication that was the most miserable awful test I've ever had. I have to take about 8 swallows of the most vile awful evil liquid ever devised and have pictures taken after each one. I'm not sure why my gut surgeon is involved since everything is going really well, digestively speaking. But he is and I am glad that they are looking into all possible causes, even if they seem determined to look at the wrong problem.

I'm having issues with the "heart healthy" diet they have me on, that is totally opposite to what I have eaten for the last nearly-7 years, that has gotten my blood lipids back into normal ranges and has kept my blood sugar normal and on a good path. Both of these issues they keep asking me about, and can't seem to believe that this overweight middle-aged woman doesn't have high cholesterol (as defined by bad science) and diabetes. The nurse told me that my blood lipids would be checked in the morning to determine if I need statins. I told her that I will not be taking statins, and she reiterated that we don't know if I will need them or not. I will save that particular "battle" for after the results come back since that will be a moot point. At another hospital I was put onto a statin drug. I asked for my blood results and they were totally fine, yet the doctor argued with me that I needed to be on a statin due to my "risk factors" - ie, a high-fat diet, age, and weight. The way the medical profession thinks is way beyond me...but I never took their drug then and won't now

So back to the "heart healthy" diet. I will become a diabetic if I have to stay on this for very long. No fats, lots of carbs as both sugars and starches. It is infuriating, and if I'm not discharged tomorrow, the doctor and I will have to revisit the diet that he ordered for me. I am pretty much decided that I can get through a day or 2 without eating any of it, if my options remain limited to unhealthy foods.

But mainly, I want to know why I am short of breath whenever my O2 is off. That is not the goal of the hospitalist that is handling my case (and must be all of about 17 years old!), but it is mine. Make it so I can breathe as well as I was breathing 48 yours ago, and send me home. And I will be a happy camper :)

Jan 2nd...Not As I Planned

2011-01-02T19:47:00.001-08:00

Today I have been short of breath all day, with some pressure/weight in my chest, and pain around my rib cage. Duration over 12 hours. Aspirin hasn't helped. I didn't take a sublingual nitro because it's not like any angina pain I've ever had. (I was diagnosed with prinzmetal's angina in 1997.) My sister is going to drive up here and take me to the ER. Hubby has to go to work, it is his 2nd night on his new job. The ER where I had the surgery is an hour away, that's where she wants to go. I will update when I know what's going on.

Dec.1 - Jan. 1 - The First Month

2011-01-01T19:16:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - http://chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

I've already written a lot here almost every day so there isn't much to write about, I just have 2 things, really.

First, I'm about 1/3 of the way through the 100 days. (The surgeon told me it will take a full year to recover completely, but the first 100 days will be "critical" and that I need to go easy on myself during this time. I interpret "go easy" as to rest when I get tired, don't push it when something causes pain, eat what is comfortable in my stomach and no more, and things like that.) I have periods of time when I feel almost normal and go about doing housewifely things and then suddenly I can't do one more thing and have to stop. Right then and there. I simply cannot continue whether or not I want to, or even need to. I'm anticipating that these next couple of months will find me gradually able to do more and more until that doesn't happen anymore.

And I have to once more bring up this depression. I described it to my husband yesterday like this: Yes, I can laugh at a joke, I can carry on a normal conversation, I can put smileys in my emails and FB updates (though I don't feel them these days, they are more like punctuation), I can make myself act and talk normally. I can feel happy about something - such as Pete's new job after all these months of unemployment - but underneath there is a blackness that doesn't go away. It is like a shiny red boat racing across the waves, the sun is shining brightly, the boat is bouncing happily across the lake...but underneath it the water is dark, black even, and icy cold. The boat may be bright and bouncy, but it is surrounded and supported wholly by something dark and cold and ready to devour it at any minute. That is how it is. Exactly.

I talk about my food choices and adapting and how this surgery has changed my diet in my other blog. Between what I've been posting here and there, I think I've given a pretty complete picture of how life has been as it pertains to the nissen fundoplication surgery, and hopefully it will be helpful to someone else who needs this surgery, or has had it and just wants to compare notes.

Dec.1 - Jan. 1 - The First Month [ #lowcarb #fundoplication ]

2011-01-01T18:59:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - cheapeasylowcarb.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

Today I started out with a half-slice of an oppsie with butter and SF (and seed-free) blackberry jam, knowing I was going out for lunch. Got to the restaurant and ordered a chicken strip basket, figuring I'd split it with my grandson, and take any leftovers home. I ordered applesauce rather than coleslaw since I can't have raw vegetables (and I LOVE coleslaw!), split that with my grandson. Then they brought the "basket" - it was a PLATTER of humongous chicken breasts, 3 of them, with a delicious corn meal breading, plus about a half-pound of fries. (All this for $6.99 - if you're ever in Houghton Lake, MI stop in at Bobber's!) I ate half of one of the pieces of chicken but removed the coating first, and about 5 fries, plus some of the applesauce. I was very very full - too full, I found out when I stood up - but after walking around KMart I was more comfortable. Several hours later I made my grilled cheese sandwich using Oopsies, but couldn't finish it. That's what I've had today. Tonight I am nauseated for some reason...hat big pile of cheese on my sandwich, I'm thinking...

So, a lot has changed in one month. I'm losing weight like crazy but I don't know how much because my scale isn't accurate; I'll be at the surgeon's office again mid-month and will find out then.

I went into this knowing it would change how I eat forever, and that I would have to adapt. No choice. I am adapting, but I read accounts of people who, 10 years after this same surgery, are able to eat anything, and I find myself wishing the next decade away :). I miss my raw vegetables like salads and coleslaw as examples, but also cauliflower dipped in ranch and other things. If I could have one thing back, it would be raw veggies. But I wouldn't trade them for what I endured before the surgery!

I'm about 1/3 of the way through my 100 days. (The surgeon told me it will take a full year to recover completely, but the first 100 days will be "critical" and that I need to go easy on myself during this time.) I interpret "go easy" as to rest when I get tired, don't push it when something causes pain, eat what is comfortable in my stomach and no more, and things like that. As I have written about extensively in my other blog, there are a lot of physical and emotional issues that I didn't expect and that are impacting me nearly as much as the surgery has. But back to food...

I eat "mostly low carb" but admittedly not fully yet. There are days my stomach just wants something gentle, and that is usually yogurt or the inside of a baked potato, and anything else just doesn't work. In addition, since I'm still eating such small amounts, I'm not feeling any blood sugar impact from them. I've always felt physical responses after eating carbs, such as an about-to-come-down-with-the-flu-like feeling, a mild headache, and a faster pulse. Of course, since such a huge change has been made to my digestive tract, what and how I eat certainly has changed, and how I feel when I eat has changed, how meds affect me has changed...so maybe the whole response to carbs has also...still, it is a non-issue at this point, but how I eat is still changing almost day by day.

So that's my report for the first month after my nissen fundoplication, at least as it pertains to how I eat - mostly low carb, but now completely...yet.

Day 30 [ #lowcarb #fundoplication ]

2010-12-31T17:37:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - cheapeasylowcarb.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

Today I had my first sandwich since my surgery, made on Oopsies. It had ham and havarti cheese and dijon mustard. And it was good. Tomorrow I am looking forward to a grilled cheese sandwich, now that I have a huge bunch of oopsie slices stockpiled.

I also had 2 fried eggs, part of a banana, and the rest of my SF chocolate pudding. And lots of tea of course. And a protein shake because I know I am not eating enough.

Weight continues to drop off of me, not because I want it to, but because it is a side effect of the surgery. I will have to deal with the ramifications of all that as they come but it is what it is. I don't know how much weight I've lost, I only know that my clothes are getting so loose, and I see and feel the changes in my body. And my knees are thankful.

Day 30 - A Whole Bunch of (Unrelated?) Stuff

2010-12-31T17:30:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

Yeah, I've talked about the depression with which I am struggling, that popped up and caught me unaware...or maybe creeped up...but which I really started noticing about a week ago. I wouldn't have thought this would have been related to my surgery but it apparently is...and there are other things that are different.

(NOTE: Parts of this are personal so if you are squeamish stop here. I just want an honest story of my fundoplication experience for others who may be considering this procedure, or who may experience the same thing(s), plus maybe someone can help me understand all of this who has been there done that.)

My skin: I am itchy. Not just where the skin is STILL dry after that awful mess under the binders, but nearly everywhere. I could spend my entire day scratching. I'm using a wonderful cream that works wonders on my hands but the itching isn't necessarily related to dryness of my skin, and some of the itching feels like it is way beneath the skin, where I can't scratch hard enough to reach it.

My hair is limp and has no body, no life, no nothing. Like when I was a teenager and it was always oily and only looked nice for about an hour after I washed it - only I don't even get that hour, now. It is dead.

My personal scents, just the smell of my skin, my breath, etc. are all different. I don't recognize these various "natural" scents that are so unnatural now, that aren't me...

I have areas on my skin where it is turning to thick, textured elephant skin. Seriously. In several places. It is hard, it is thick, and it has a definite rough, hide-like texture. Where is THAT coming from??

As do many fat women, I struggle with candida in the folds of my skin, but have been able to control it for years with a routine that has kept it in check: daily showering followed by towel drying followed by air drying with a blow dryer set on cool and high followed by a liberal dusting of Caldosene Powder, which has no corn starch (yeast loves to feed on corn starch!) but has 15% zinc oxide which I've never found in any other powder. But now it is out of control, and acting differently than it ever did. The skin is splitting open and bleeding and very VERY painful in several areas, and there are other changes as well that might be too graphic for this blog. But it is worse, and it is different.

I now have fingernails for the first time in my life - literally - since I have bitten them since I was a toddler. I never ever had nails. But after the surgery I didn't want to ingest fingernails and cause pain so I stopped biting them. They are making me nuts, I hate the feeling of them, the tapping on my keyboard and the mistakes they are causing...but see paragraph 4 above: They are great for scratching so they get to stay although I will keep them very very short.

There is also some pain, not enough that it gets more than a passing notice, but it is frequent, across my chest/rib cage, and into my shoulders. I read that this is quite common, having something to do with nerves and diaphragm repair and whatever. It isn't a big deal..but it is one more thing that is so different...

Looking back I see that most of these changes are skin-related, but why? I don't get it, and it all only serves to make me even less of who I was before. There is almost nothing about me that I recognize anymore. I'm more puzzling than whining, no matter how the text reads, but I'm fairly certain that all of this strangeness isn't helping my feelings of detachment and strangeness in my own skin.

But I'll work it all out, one way or another. I have a lot of years to enjoy the intended results of this surgery, that I am already enjoying, the ability to eat without reflux and pain and all the rest of it. I still can't believe I haven't had these things in a month, when it had all been part of my life for so many years...I'm so so so thankful for the opportunity to have this done, and am sure I'll get excited about it again once I get my head fixed.

Day 29 [ #lowcarb #fundoplication ]

2010-12-30T20:11:00.000-08:00

Today was a total loss. Slept a lot, didn't get dressed, and ate carbs. The end.

Day 29

2010-12-30T20:09:00.000-08:00

Exhausted today. Went to the kitchen to get something to eat and was too tired to cook so I threw some minute rice into a pot. 5 minutes later, lunch. I slept much of the day, didn't get dressed. Not much else to report, I felt like nothing and accomplished just as much.

Day 28 - A L - O - N - G Day!

2010-12-29T20:12:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

Pete had business down in Saginaw today, plus it was his 60th birthday, so we had a day trip. We also had our almost-21-month-old grandson with us since his mom had to work.

First let me say that since mid-October neither Pete nor I have been working. Pete had a surgery that didn't allow him to do his job so they let him go, and my job is seasonal; I only work from April-Oct. So things have been really tight, but our needs have been met by the faithful and loving Father we serve. Still, Pete has been desperately looking for work. He's applied, tested, interviewed for jobs but nothing. Then he had an interview yesterday with a small company that he came home and raved about, saying that he felt all of his experience in the past was leading to this position. And apparently they thought so too; we were on our way to Saginaw when they called to tell him he got the job!

So we had reason to celebrate. I haven't eaten in a restaurant since my surgery, and was a little wary, but all went well. (See my post about this at my other blog.) Then he took care of his business at the V.A. while grandson and I played in the lobby. The hour passed very quickly. After that we went to Pete's sister's house and visited for about an hour, then to a large thrift store. While there, though, I started to crash: stomach pain, weakness, light-headed...I knew I needed food but this seemed to be, to me, an extreme reaction to an empty belly! Still, I couldn't deny it and we had to go, even though I had to leave many more bargains behind...

Went to Midland on the way home so I could pick up some food for my parrots from Soldan's, then ate a light supper at the Texan, filled up the gas tank ($47!!!!), and headed for home.

Most days I feel good early in the day, then lose stamina and start experiencing discomfort about midway through. Today was no different except that I didn't just start losing stamina and experiencing discomfort - I hit a brick wall and wanted to drop, right there, and just curl up on the floor. That was really disconcerting...

I'm still trying to deal with, and figure out, all of these feelings and how/why I am such a stranger to myself. All of the hours in the car gave me plenty of time to think, and I'm still no closer to answers. A depressed, sad person has taken up residence in my head and pushed me aside, and each day is no better, in fact today was a little worse even while I was enjoying being with hubby and grandson, and all the things we were doing on our day trip. It is all so very bizarre.

I am pleased and praising God today for His working in our lives, and am really excited that we will once again be able to support His work! And Pete's new job, well only God could have matched him up with a position that is such a perfect fit. I am glad and thankful for all of these things as they float atop the sad feeling like a shiny new boat cruises on the surface of dark waters.

I love my husband so much.

Day 28 - My First Restaurant Meals [ #fundoplication #lowcarb ]

2010-12-29T19:50:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - cheapeasylowcarb.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

My husband and grandson and I spent the day in Saginaw, about 2 hours away. Hubby had some business down there, and since it was his birthday we were going to go to Fire Mountain for lunch. However, he got some great news while we were driving down and we splurged on Super Buffet to celebrate. (You can read more about his great news and other details about the day at my other blog so I can keep this one about food.) But today I ate a LOT of new-since-surgery foods and handled it all very well!

Super Buffet is nice because there are just as many American - or Americanized - foods as Asian on the buffet tables. I've always enjoyed buffets because I don't have to feel "different", I can take a lot of food, as long as it is low carb, as opposed to ordering off the diet menu in a sit-down restaurant while everyone else has burgers and fries. Plus, I like being able to have a couple of bites of a lot of things rather than a lot of bites of a couple of foods :).

#1 discovery: I can't do justice to a buffet like I used to. I was good for about 1/4c spinach with cheese melted on it, one small stuffed (cream cheese/crab) mushroom cap, about 2 oz. of baked fish, and 4 bites of mixed seafood* in butter. Then, after some hot tea and a rest, I was able to eat 4 small bites of their lovely apple strudel - a real treat, since I usually bypass it. But given as little as I'm eating, I am still getting very few carbs...

After a full afternoon we stopped in Midland for something I needed and then had a light supper at the Texan restaurant. I got corned beef hash and 2 fried eggs. I ate half. I told the waitress I couldn't have toast and she brought 2 huge pancakes instead - YIKES! I had a few bites of one of them but that was more than enough.

Then tonight when I got home I had another dish of my SF chocolate pudding made with 50/50 heavy cream/water instead of milk (thereby saving over 20g carbs!)...

I didn't eat enough meals today and felt hungry more than I felt satisfied. Just 2 meals, really, plus a snack. Glad that doesn't happen at home, and next time we're on a day trip I need to pack some things to have in the car with us. This didn't work well on several levels, not only my stomach but also in terms of comfort and energy (or lack thereof).

So that was my food day, first time restaurant(s) and it went just fine.

* The mixed seafood uses "Krab" which contains sugar, so I usually eat mostly the other stuff, with just a bite or 2 of the fake stuff.

Day 27 [#lowcarb #fundoplication ]

2010-12-28T21:00:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - cheapeasylowcarb.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

Hmm...didn't eat much today, haven't really felt like eating. Started the day with a scrambled egg and a slice of fried balogna - my daughter was making that for her son's breakfast and made me some too. Next meal was about 1/2c of 4% fat cottage cheese. Then 1/2c of SF chocolate pudding because a chocolate craving hit; I made it with 1c heavy cream + 1c water instead of milk to keep the carb count low. It whipped up light and very good, the whole bowl (4 servings) is less than 10g. And I finished off what was left of my baked potato from the other day which wasn't much, with lots of butter. I'm done with potato for a while now, don't want this to become a habit and need to keep to my no-more-than-2-small-potatoes-a-week rule.

One thing that's kind of major, at least to me: Hubby made a grilled ham'n'cheese sandwich, and I took 2 bites. He used store-bought low-carb bread which still has all sorts of nutritional nastiness in it but the point is that I ate grilled bread without a problem. Yay for that. My pipes seem to be working really fine. I want to start introducing some root vegetables next, in small amounts, cooked well. I miss my rutabagas and turnips and daikon.

Another thing is that I am eating much more normally and not obsessing so much about every bite. My mind isn't focused on the size of the bite (or the size of the swallow) and the amount of chewing so much now; I'm aware though, always. Not totally focused but still aware. It is getting easier to eat.

Day 27

2010-12-28T20:49:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

Still sad and disinterested. Don't even know what to write about. Stresses in life are taking their toll I guess. I looked up depression after surgery in the wee hours of the morning and it is definitely an issue for people who have had major surgeries. I've been having very vivid, very strange dreams at night also; I usually don't even remember my dreams, if I even have them, so this is off-putting to me as well. Plus add the high level of stress in my home right now, I guess I get it. But wish I didn't have to. I need to burrow my nose into the Word is what I need to do. Get some perspective back through the Word and prayer.

More pain across my belly today than in a week or more, but also have other things going on lower in my digestive tract that have been an issue for a few years so I think that's part of it. That, and handling my almost-30# grandson, and moving the loveseat away from the wall when my dog was getting into trouble behind it. (If my gut can withstand the impact of the steering wheel in a collision without undoing the fundoplication at 3 weeks post-op, then I guess I needn't worry too much about a toddler right? Even if he does make me pretty sore.)

Nothing else new to report. Makes me wonder why I wrote anything at all today, other than that it is a habit. The way I feel isn't like me, I'm not like this. Get over it, Sherry.

Day 26

2010-12-27T19:06:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

Why on earth would I feel sad and even a bit weepy today? I have no idea. Worked like a slave this morning washing dishes and cleaning my kitchen, then felt no energy and depressed the rest of the day, and had to fight back tears-for-no-reason several times.

I don't understand it, that's not like me.

Day 26: Pushing my Limits [ #fundoplication but not necessarily #lowcarb ]

2010-12-27T19:02:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - cheapeasylowcarb.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

Interestingly enough I still get a bellyache from ground beef. Hadn't tried it in, oh, about a week maybe? so today I did...no go yet :(. But Pete made one of those little Totino thin crust pizzas and I nibbled on part of it this afternoon and had no problem. Also today I made a smoothie with full-fat plain yogurt, chocolate protein powder, SF almond syrup, a little vanilla, and a drop of the liquid sucralose.

I was pushing my limits in trying the cheap little thin pizza but it worked out ok; I'd read various accounts of people either handling, or not handling, pizza online as they were recovering from a nissen fundoplication, so I had to try it for myself - otherwise I probably wouldn't have even thought of it. Then, I thought I'd do better with ground beef by now but I was wrong about that. Probably a carbier day than most, but eating pizza isn't the norm either. Today I don't care so much about food and could have eaten anything, or not, and it wouldn't have mattered much.

Day 25 - Feeling Almost Normal [ #lowcarb #fundoplication ]

2010-12-26T20:14:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - cheapeasylowcarb.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

I'm starting to eat more normally now. I don't think about every bite that goes into my mouth, wondering if my stomach can handle it yet; I just eat it. I haven't ventured forth yet to test if I can handle some of the restrictioned foods but I now know that I can handle my lovely tomato soup, and vegetable juice. I can eat chicken skin and potato skin, and I can eat dry cereal. (I dropped some when I was packing it up for my grandson.) I'm going to be trying ground beef again in the next couple of days, and also a slice of thin-crust pizza which isn't a typical food for my low carb eating, but something I want to try. I've already eaten toasted pita which was fine.

I will probably start with more cooked vegetables this week, and will use a simethicone tablet with them at first, at least. And probably some cooked root vegetables. Potato skins are tough to digest I think, but I doubt that toasted rutabaga is any worse - but I will find out soon :).

So I believe all is going well, and my stomach feels more natural to me now. The big thing I'm still getting used to is chewing more, so that my food will fit down the smaller opening, so I still have to concentrate on that while I eat.

Today I ate cottage cheese, part of a piece of chicken, some creamed spinach, a whole baked potato (but not a big one - still, more about that in a minute!), more cottage cheese, and some yogurt with SF flavored syrup mixed in.

Here's the deal with the baked potato: Pete made us a lovely supper of baked chicken legs, potatoes, and creamed spinach. He served me a leg, a potato (well buttered of course!), and about 1/4c of the spinach. I'd only wanted part of the potato, along with a little skin, to see how my gut handled it, but once it was there on my plate, all buttery goodness...I didn't stop as planned. I paid the price, too, with pain...but it wasn't the same pain as I've had previously, where I felt I had hurt something inside. This was a more general belly pain, which I'm guessing will be more the norm unless and until my stomach normalizes in size again. (Actually I'd rather it not normalize at all, and that it would stay smaller, but that won't happen if I glutton out on baked potatoes!) After that, about mid-afternoon, I've only had a small cup of cottage cheese, and one of yogurt.

Tomorrow I'd like to start resuming my cooking tasks as I start adding back in more and more foods, and I'm looking forward to it!

A Day of Rest

2010-12-26T19:54:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

Today after church (excellent service, BTW!) we came home, ate, and rested. And I found out what happens when I eat too much. Pete made a lovely supper, I didn't stop eating in time, and it hurt. But overall, I feel like I'm eating almost normally now 25 days post-op - but I'll write about that in my other blog shortly, when I finish here...

It has really been a lovely day, and I feel ready for tomorrow when my daughter and grandson return home from downstate, where they've been visiting relatives over Christmas. It is always peaceful and quiet and neat and tidy when it is just Pete and I here, and I will miss that...but I feel more complete when my family is together. And tomorrow it will be!

And I think I can handle things better now. Yes I got exhausted easily after 2 days of shopping and activities - but really, was it all THAT easily? Compared to a week ago - or two weeks ago - no, it wasn't as easily as then. So everything is, I believe, as it should be at this stage of my recovery. I think I will be doing more and more as the days go by but am doing really well in that department at the moment, and feel good about that!

So tomorrow my family comes home, I have some shipping to do, and the usual bird cages to clean and other everyday housework. It will be a good day :).

Christmas Day!

2010-12-25T17:14:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - cheapeasylowcarb.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

Lovely day! Soup turned out beautifully. The grilled cheese sandwiches looked and smelled amazing! I used English muffin bread, real butter on the outsides, and did them on my electric griddle. I used a slice each of American, swiss, and havarti cheese. My mom ate half of her sandwich and took the other half, plus a Christmas cookie, home with her. Pete had two sandwiches and two bowls of soup. (He usually eats double portions of things, that's why I try hard to keep him low carb but sometimes it is an uphill battle.) I didn't bake cookies this year but bought a package of 10 (?) cookies yesterday that would look pretty on the table - and they did. They are full of sugar and carbs and I ate 2. Won't have any more.

Since I can't eat bread, I had to forgo those lovely sandwiches. What a horrible thing that was, but the threat of great pain kept me from giving into temptation. Still, my pita cheese crisps were pretty good. I used a low carb pita, sliced it in half to make two very thin pieces, then I cut those into a few large pieces. Buttered them, sprinkled colby-jack on them, topped with havarti, and into the oven on a rack until the cheese bubbled and the pitas crisped up. They were better than nothing but I was still drooling over the grilled cheese sandwiches!

I nibbled a lot today. Started out with a dish of cottage cheese, then nibbled on cheeses while I made dinner, tasted a spoonful of my soup several times, then a half-cup of soup and some of the pita cheese crisps for dinner, a cookie about an hour later, the rest of the crisps a couple of hours after that, and another cookie just now.

Both the pita and the tomato soup were new re-additions to my post-fundoplication diet, as was the cookie. I am happy to report that I did fine with them all! Tiny bites, well-chewed, warm tea, and walking around - it was all good!

Day 22 #fundoplication #lowcarb

2010-12-23T21:37:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - cheapeasylowcarb.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

Strange day. Wall of exhaustion, everything took too much effort.

Ate some creamy cheesy macaroni, a few bites of cream of wheat (with half'n'half, butter, brown sugar sub, and cinnamon), some lovely fish that hubby fried up in olive oil (no coatings of any kind), and some full-fat plain yogurt mixed with SF almond flavored syrup. I can't seem to get more than 4 mini-meals - aka "snacks" - into my days, no matter what I'm supposed to be doing.

Hungry now but about to go to bed and don't want to lay down on a full (HA! that word has a whole new meaning now!) stomach - made that mistake last night. No reflux of course, but definitely miserable.

Speaking of eating: I have always finished what is on my plate. Now I am at war with the "need" to eat those last few bites vs. my stomach telling me, "Enough! Not one more bite!" When I don't listen to my stomach, I get pain. But the voice in my head has over a half century of controlling how I eat. It's a tough fight.

Day 22 - Hitting the Wall

2010-12-23T21:29:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

I didn't even DO that much, but sure hit the wall of exhaustion today. From the time I got up this morning everything has taken a supreme effort to accomplish. So I didn't do much. Folded some laundry, kept falling asleep in my chair, took care of my birds, that's about it. It's all I could manage. Go figure, not sure what brought that on but tomorrow I have a busy day planned so enough of this nonsense!

P.S. I just wrote this in my other blog and thought it was significant so I'm copying it here as well: I have always finished what is on my plate. Now I am at war with the "need" to eat those last few bites vs. my stomach telling me, "Enough! Not one more bite!" When I don't listen to my stomach, I get pain. But the voice in my head has over a half century of controlling how I eat. It's a tough fight.

Three Weeks Ago Today!

2010-12-22T20:09:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

Hard to believe the first 3 weeks have passed already, then on the other hand it seems like a year ago I was in the hospital and then at my sister's. Once I got home the time stretched or something. While I was in the hospital those 5 days, I both couldn't wait to get out, and was afraid to leave because they were so good at managing my pain, and I was afraid of managing my own food and pain. Then 8 days at my sister's where I started to learn the different feelings and signals that my belly was sending me, and what they meant, and where I started learning how to judge when and how much and what to eat. It was a calm and stable place with a lot of support and no stress and I am everso thankful I could have that time there with her family!

Being home these last 8 days I have felt the stresses of everyday life and it hasn't been as easy but as they say, there is no place like home! I am again with the people and pets and things that I love best which are both comforting and stressful. But I'm not sure I'd want to be anywhere else :).

So. The day after The Fall. Yowser I'm sore! If I have had any belly pain I don't know it because the muscles have been screaming too loudly for me to hear it. But knowing it was just muscle pain I took the opportunity to go without any pain meds, except for my first-thing-in-the-morning one, all day. And for sore muscles I like activity. So I played with my parrots, cleaned 3 cages (yes it was slow but I still did it!), washed dishes and scrubbed pots and pans, and watched my grandson for about an hour. It seems I was always up and down to do something or other, and my husband thinks I have done too much. Tonight I would agree with him, late afternoon I hit the wall and could do no more, but it felt good to be moving, both for my soul and to keep my aching muscles too busy to complain much.

I wrote about this in my other blog already but I haven't had an appetite today, and haven't wanted to drink. Not sure why but by late afternoon I felt I should eat anyway, so I've eaten a few bites, several times throughout the evening. Now it is 11:00 p.m. and my stomach feels heavy and sore, so maybe I should have just followed what it was trying to tell me: I'm not hungry, don't send anything down! I won't make that mistake again!

But for 3 weeks post surgery I think I'm doing pretty well. Hubby thinks so too, except he thinks I'm pushing to do too much too soon. Yeah. Prolly. But I'm doing it :).

Three Weeks Ago Today! #lowcarb #fundoplication

2010-12-22T19:56:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - cheapeasylowcarb.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

Hard to believe the first 3 weeks have passed already, then on the other hand it seems like a year ago I was in the hospital and then at my sister's. Once I got home the time stretched or something.

Anyway, I had no appetite today. Didn't even drink my usual cups of tea. Just didn't want to eat. Finally at about 3:00 I scrambled an egg with some cream cheese and at half of that. A couple of hours later hubby gave me a dish of full fat yogurt with SF flavored syrup in it...then 3 oz of cooked chicken breast strips...and I ate some tuna/mayo with swiss melted and mixed into it because I felt I needed more food but I didn't enjoy it and didn't really wanted it. Just thought I should.

I've had most of a cup of decaf tea to drink today (I usually drink 5-6 cups) and about 1/4 a bottle of water. I just feel blah in my belly.

But tomorrow is another day :).

Day 20: What I Ate #lowcarb #fundoplication

2010-12-21T21:38:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - cheapeasylowcarb.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

Last night I had pretty much already decided I'd have some lovely oatmeal today. But my first meal was 5 tortellini in alfredo sauce that my daughter gave me out of her breakfast. (She is a pastaholic!) They were delish!

Next meal was my oatmeal, with half'n'half, butter, brown sugar sub, and cinnamon. Cooked it well, made it really creamy, and added lots of cinnamon.

Then a chicken thigh with spaghetti squash "strings" (nuked the squash first) fried in butter with chopped onion. Then the other half of the thigh and squash that I couldn't eat earlier. I was pleased that the chicken skin nor the cooked onion didn't seem to bother me, other than feeling a lump after eating the skin. Should have probably taken smaller bites of it.

Lastly I had some cream of mushroom soup and for some reason that didn't sit well and I had to take a zofran but it was good.

So 5 mini-meals today, started out carby but as I've said before, I don't eat enough for the carbs to really add up at this point.

Would love to go to the grocery store tomorrow, haven't shopped in nearly a month but at least I made sure we'd have plenty in the house for the 2 weeks I was away, and until I was up to shopping again. Getting stronger and able to do more every day, feel I'm recovering a lot more quickly the last couple of days, I think I'm up to it now - YAY! :)

Day 20 - A Fall (But I'm OK, Gwen)

2010-12-21T16:50:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

Today started out ok. I did sleep on my sides with just a pillow, all night long. It has been so long since I've been able to sleep without stacks of pillows - or sitting in my recliner - that Pete never even knew me when I could! But I was very sore in the gut when I got out of bed this morning. But it was worth it! I still get excited that I can lay down, and that I've been reflux-free for almost 3 weeks - it is like a miracle!!!

All went well through the morning. I enjoyed my grandson for a little while, then after he and my daughter left I did the dishes. That's right, I DID THE DISHES! It was great to accomplish something around the house :). Then I prepared the chicken thighs for roasting (poured the olive oil in the pan, rinsed the thighs, gave 'em each a roll in the oil and some sea salt on top) and put them in the oven. This 30 minutes or so of simple work tired me out but not as badly as it would have last week, at least my legs didn't get wobbly.

Supper was lovely, and afterward I went to the bathroom for a shower. Ladies, I know this problem isn't very uncommon but when I get up I have to go, there can be no dallying - I have to GO NOW. So on my way to the shower I hurriedly turned to lift the lid, and in turning back to sit I stepped on the heel of my left slipper with my right foot, and down I went. I yelled as I went, and when I hit the wall I heard something crack (in the wall, not in me)...there isn't a lot of space in the corner where the toilet is so I got a bit wedged. I was able to extricate myself in just a minute though it seemed like a lot longer...

Pete hadn't heard me fall from the living room, I was already starting to hurt, but he insisted on staying in the bathroom while I showered. Probably a good thing because by the time I got out my out-of-use muscles were really starting to hurt. As I was drying off the spasms started around my rib cage from the arthritis in my spine which evidently wasn't happy about being twisted as I went down.

I took a flexaril, Pete rubbed some Nature's Inventory Back Soothe (this is GREAT STUFF, my friend Heidi sells it, let me know if you're interested in finding out more!!) on my back, and I got dressed...

Now it's been a couple of hours, and my muscles across my belly and back and around my entire rib cage hurt, as well as the ones in my left arm and up the left side of my neck, and the backs of my thighs. Falling is a big fear of mine and today that fear was reality. And yeah, it's just as bad as I remember it.

Day 19 - and yes, I'm sure of it.

2010-12-20T18:10:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - cheapeasylowcarb.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

Ate an egg scrambled with cream cheese first. Then 2 lovely chicken breast strips dipped in ranch dressing late morning. A couple of hours later had some cream of mushroom soup. Then more about an hour after that.

This evening I rinsed/drained/dried some angel hair shiritaki noodles, then tossed them around a frying pan that contained hot butter and olive oil until they got brown and crispy around the edges. I put some in a dish and sprinkled on parmesan from the can, and some shredded italian cheese blend. It was quite good but these noodles are almost all fiber, and also impossible to chew to a liquid state before swallowing, so I ended up with a bellyache and nausea which the Zofram took care of for me. I'll wait a few days before trying that again.

But the crispy brown shiritaki noodles intrigued me. I can't find much about them prepared this way online, but did find a great thread on Low Carb Friends where people make pizza crusts out of them - WOW! Great idea! I have actually blended them in the past, adding egg, vegetables, and cheese, and made nice patties out of them, but never considered pizza crust. You can find the thread here if you are interested :). I will definitely try this when I can eat it sometime in the future!

As I reported in my other blog, all is going quite well today, and I'm excited for tomorrow to come so I can do more stuff!

P.S. After posting this, I had a dish of plain full-fat yogurt with some SF caramel syrup stirred in...bliss!

Day 19 - Lots of Improvement!

2010-12-20T17:58:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

First of all, it was exciting to be able to sleep on my sides - both of them - early this morning! I was able to get the bean bag out of the bed and sleep normally. I got a lot of good rest and am looking forward to sleeping well again tonight, in my natural position! I still use the bean bag for times like this, when I am sitting in bed with Nellie (my netbook), but during the day my 20-month-old grandson had a great time with it :).

Pain levels were WAY down. I took something when I first got up, which is always uncomfortable as my insides get shifted around and start bumping into each other (at least that's what it feels like!) and as I have my first food of the day. But then I didn't need anything else until late this afternoon when aforementioned grandson tried to climb on me as I tried to keep him from doing so, and somehow his knee ended up in my belly with his body coming down right behind it. When the pain didn't subside within a few minutes I took something and came into the bedroom with Nellie to protect myself. But I hardly used any pain meds today.

I was more active today as well, although husband's concern kept me from doing too much (as is my habit the first time I start feeling better after any illness or whatever). But if I feel this good tomorrow my plan is to do a little bit more in the morning, see if it causes me any distress, and if not, do a little more and a little more. I need to be rejoining my own life, if that makes any sense.

I am also almost completely comfortable playing my keyboards now, sitting up straight and stretching my belly in so doing. In fact, I can reach the floor now if I go slowly. Twisting and stretching are still uncomfortable but I feel I can do it if I have to. The things that still cause actual pain are lifting and reaching - quite a shortened list from just a few days ago!

(Seems like there was something else I wanted to mention that was good news but now I can't think of it...)

So I would say that all is going much better, and tomorrow I will do a few more of my normal activities and see what happens!

Oh, And I Almost Forgot...

2010-12-20T03:39:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

...I can sleep on my sides now! I wake up sore but not in terrible pain as I have for the first couple of weeks post-surg...but sleeping on my sides is my naturally preferred way, and I am so happy that I can finally do it without awakening myself with pain from trying!

I am still sleeping on the bean bag but probably tonight I will attempt sleep without it. Now that I am side-sleeping it is starting to get in my way. But it was excellent - necessary even! - to help me get comfortable when the pain was still so great when I moved. I highly recommend one to anybody having a majory surgery, especially one where movement causes pain!

Day 18 - What I Ate

2010-12-19T19:14:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - cheapeasylowcarb.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

First, I think I referred to yesterday as Day 18. I don't know. My days are messed up I guess; I had my surgery on the 1st, today is the 19th, you do the math if it is important to you :). But here is what I ate anyway:

an egg, scrambled with cream cheese and just a little finely chopped spinach, about 1/2c total

plain full-fat yogurt mixed with a spoonful of SF blackberry jam (no seeds in it), about 1/2c total

leftover baked potato, no skin, heated and mashed with butter, about 1/2c total

chicken breast and ham with swiss melted on top, about 4 oz total

the last of my SF pudding, about 1/4c total

You can see that I'm still not eating nearly as much as I did before, but of course, I don't want to :). I do feel better now than I did even a week ago, about getting enough food to nourish myself.

I want more vegetables. Sweet potato and a tiny bit of spinach isn't enough. I will have to go to the store tomorrow and scan the produce section for something that won't cause gas, doesn't have seeds or skins, and isn't too fibrous (root veggies are out for now). I'm thinking some sort of squash. (Yes I know squash is a fruit, but we're not being too picky at this point.) If you think of anything else, I'll be happy to hear about it :). And I will make some creamed spinach since today's spinach didn't seem to bother me at all. I also want to see how shirataki noodles go down.

Day 18, Plus Other Stuff

2010-12-19T19:03:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

I spent half the night reading about the procedure I had. Previously I had studied it from the perspective of one who was going to have the surgery; now I am reading more about post-fundoplication experiences, diets, issues, and life.

The thing that I can't get over is how much the articles and first-hand accounts vary. Doctors instructions go from "stick with clear liquids for a week, full liquids for a week, soft foods for 3 weeks, then start slowly with foods that require chewing - chew very well, eat tiny bites..." and so forth, to "take a few days to get back to your normal diet." (!!!!!) And some doctors recommend starting out with soft cooked cereals and vegetables, only later adding dairy and any form of meats; others recommend no vegetables for several weeks, or dairy first thing, or any other variations on the theme.

My own doctor, while giving me very very few guidelines, did tell me that carbonated beverages would never be part of my future (some docs online say wait a month), and that it would be a very long time, maybe even up to a year, before I should even try bread or raw vegetables (VERY well-chewed); some people online are eating sandwiches within 2 weeks.

As pertains to activity, many people are back to work in 2-3 weeks. My doctor's partner to me to go easy on myself for the first 100 days which he deems "critical"! Some people go home the same day as the surgery; I barely felt strong enough after 5 days! It is incredible the extreme discrepancies...

So, once again, I am taking my own surgeon's words - few as they are - to heart, the one who actually did the work, knows my history, knows my issues, and knows the work that he did. After that, as I've mentioned, I'm being conservative. If I hurt, I don't push myself. If I do something that doesn't hurt or only causes a minor discomfort, I use that activity to continue to build strength. If I have issues with a certain food, I back off and try again later. And so forth.

All of that to say, either there ARE no hard-and-fast rules for post-fundoplication recovery, or else each one of us is another pioneer unto our own path.

I am finding this to be a very lonely road.

Day 18 isn't much different from day 17.

Day 17 - Tummy Tantrums [ #low carb #fundoplication ]

2010-12-18T20:02:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - cheapeasylowcarb.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

My stomach hasn't been comfortable with anything I ate today, although it sent hunger signals it petulantly let me know I wasn't sending back the expected foods. All day. In no uncertain terms.

So my tiny meals were a bit odd today as I tried to figure out what I was expected to send down.

A small piece of chicken breast. A few bites of mashed sweet potato. An egg scrambled with cream cheese. A few bites of SF pudding. Some warm and creamy tuna and mayo with swiss melted on top. A few bites of well-buttered baked potato.

I never got it right. But tomorrow is another day.

Day 17 - 3 Steps Forward, 2 Steps Back

2010-12-18T19:56:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

Awful day today. That's what I get for bragging about how well I was doing yesterday, I guess! Lots of pain with any movement at all, ate ok but my tummy never did feel exactly comfortable with food today. And my body was so exhausted I slept all afternoon - even after a pretty good night's sleep! So what is it telling me, that I'm doing too much? Or simply that it needs a day of rest to do what it's trying to do? I choose the latter.

And my mantra today has been something that Anne H wrote on my blog back on Day 4: "Recovery is not always linear!" I love that, and it fits perfectly and reminds me that my body is doing the right things - just not at the steady pace I want it to do.

Lord, thank you for this lesson in patience!

Just a Quick Note on Eating, Day 16 [ #lowcarb #fundoplication ]

2010-12-17T20:24:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - cheapeasylowcarb.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

I don't remember, now, what order I had my mini-meals today. Something significant is my sweet tooth, which I've never really had much of one, today demanded my attention.

One mini-meal was a slice of turkey ham, cut up small and dipped in honey-mustard (< 1 tsp total); for another I had part of a hamburger with swiss cheese; for another I had 2 strips of chicken that had been seasoned and fried in olive oil, which I dipped in ranch dressing; for another I had SF vanilla ice cream (about 5 bites) with a drizzle of SF maple syrup over it; for another I had some SF cheesecake flavored pudding made with whole milk. Definitely covered my meats'n'sweets today but not much else!

I think I will back off the beef for a while and revisit it later. Each time I've eaten it, it has left me with a heavy feeling in my stomach for a couple of hours. Better to leave it for now I think.

I am really craving vegetables and might try some creamed spinach tomorrow. I also still have part of a small sweet potato in the fridge left over from a couple of days ago. I will probably wait until 30 days post-surgery to try adding in the more fibrous veggies, and then after that, the "gassy" ones (which happen to be my favorites: cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli...) but in the meantime I'll do some cooked spinach and maybe some string beans and well-cooked carrots.

So today I added sweets which means I added artificial sweeteners. Given my more straight route through, I will have to see how those now affect me, if the decreased travel time will have any effect. (They've never bothered me in the past.)

Still, with my small portions, even carbier foods don't add many carbs, but I'm trying not to have them every day.

Day 16: Baby Steps

2010-12-17T17:16:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

Gradually I have been able to reduce the painkillers. Today I will just have 3 doses, and one of those doses is ibuprofen, so I'm taking less than half the narcotic that I had been taking during the time I was recovering at my sister's. (The first 5 days, in the hospital, I was getting various narcotics day and night, so I'm not even counting that.)

Speaking of narcotics (have I written this before?): As my gut issues were so bad my doctor hadn't allowed me to take any aspirin or NSAIDs, and because my liver enzymes are coming back as elevated at least half the time, she didn't want me to take acetaminophen either. So for all of my pain (mostly arthritis - spine/hips/knees/foot) she has had me taking narcotics with a higher hydrocodone level but lower acetaminophen level. I have found that to be far inferior to just plain aspirin in most cases, but at least it made me not really care too much that the pain itself wasn't being adequately relieved. And now that my gut surgeon has given me the OK to take aspirin and NSAIDs again, and having taken so much narcotic for the last couple of years, I'm extremely happy to be able to lessen my doses as quickly as I can. I'm not only taking it less often now, I'm also decreasing the doses at the same time.

Anyway, today when at rest I have been able to downgrade to "uncomfortable" rather than painful, and decreasing the amount of narcotic, and not having become breathless with exertion or exercise today, I am happy to see several "baby steps" at once :). Last night I woke up sleeping on my side and it wasn't the horrible searing pain that has caused in the past - it was very uncomfortable instead which is a huge improvement. Biggest causes of pain are still bending/stretching/twisting/reaching/lifting, and if I'm not super-vigilant when I'm eating; most other things are now downgraded to various levels of discomfort - AWESOME!

I talk about how and what I am eating, and how I am reintroducing foods into my diet on my other blog, but I will say that I think it may have been a little soon to add the ground beef. I didn't get many guidelines from my surgeon but I wrote before about how I am doing this I think? I did ok with the beef, it went down, hasn't made me ill (although there is the instance about which I wrote in my other blog...), but it does leave me with a heavy feeling in my gut that doesn't go away for a couple of hours. So I think I'm going to back off of it for a while and go back to chicken and fish and egg sources of protein.

One last thing that has nothing to do with the surgery - well, not THIS surgery at least: In September I had a cataract surgery on my left eye. (Briefly, in case you don't want to go back and read about it, the cataract was OLD, my pupil was white, the fluid in my all was 100% cloudy, and from disuse my brain stopped communicating with my eye, so it star-gazed upward and outward; I have been blind in that eye for several years.) This week I picked up my new glasses, which are TOTALLY different from the glasses I got after my first cataract surgery in 2004, and have worn ever since. And the world is a completely new place compared to what it was to me just a few short months ago! The only thing is with reading music at my keyboards; I can either pull my head back about 6" and look through the upper part, or I can lean forward and look through the lower part. Probably the first option is the best since my back is hunched anyway (and has been since I was a teen if not earlier). But for now I will keep my old pair between my keyboards and wear those when I play. (It also hurts my gut to sit up with the keyboard at the proper height but that will go away the more I do it.)

So that is my news from the last couple of days :).

Pay Attention!

2010-12-16T16:45:00.000-08:00

Oy what a belly ache! Starting to take things for granted I guess...

First meal: a scrambled egg (yes, an entire egg!)

2nd meal: some cream of wheat, prepared with cream, butter, brown sugar sub, and cinnamon.

3rd meal: full-fat plain yogurt with SF raspberry jello, which I nursed throughout the afternoon.

Evening I had another hamburger with swiss and mayo. But I got myself into trouble. I was talking and not concentrating on my chewing, timing between bites, size of bites, etc. and suddenly I couldn't swallow, couldn't burp, couldn't do anything. It was like a piece of meat - probably a chunk (I chew until my food is liquified, when I'm paying attention) - just was sitting in my lower esophagus and wouldn't move. For the half-minute or so that I tried to swallow some warm tea, it was like my swallower wouldn't work at all. I got nothing. When I could sip the tea, it did help it to pass...followed by nausea.

Thankfulfor the nausea pills...another lesson learned...PAY ATTENTION! I can't afford not to, since I couldn't even cough or choke - I got NO response at all from my throat or esophagus. I did eat about 5 bites of supper but won't eat anything else tonight, just stick with my tea.

Now I want to just go back to liquids and really soft foods. That scared me.

Added Another New Food Yesterday [ #lowcarb #fundoplication ]

2010-12-16T07:00:00.000-08:00

...and Learned the Hard Way

2010-12-15T11:46:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't always make my point in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page. I mean, if you actually want to see it all :).)

I am home, finally. After a stop at Walmart to pick up my new glasses...oh yeah, and the baby needs milk - and while we're here, I'd love some swiss cheese to go with my tuna! oops, we're out of... And before I know it was have a half-dozen bags of groceries, I'm literally ready to fall off my cart when it turns a corner, and I'm biting my lip from the pain under my right rib cage and the middle of my gut. I know I haven't literally hurt/pulled/ripped anything - but this will NOT happen again. I am staying home, unless *I* want to go somewhere for a walk or whatever.

My wonderful dear husband is now torn. He's trying desperately to find work - ANY work (he can do anything, and has a great old-fashioned work ethic!) as we've been without an income for 2 months and our savings are now depleted - and he wants to be here for me, take care of me, NEEDS to be here for me. And he's watching our grandson - my job but I can't do it - and the birds and the dogs and the house... I am worse than no help. I am an added burden to him. A burden he wants to carry but with everything else it is hard on him and it is my nature to try to help.

But I won't, not for a while. I can't. This is too important. He understands that. Still, after 24 hours together I see that he is carrying a lot...it is difficult, I need to let it be difficult though. It's only been 2 weeks and I hurt more than anytime since I left the hospital 9 days ago. So I just can't do anything about it right now.

My sheer exhaustion and 8-out-of-10 pain level is telling me so, in no uncertain terms, right now...

Some Things I Learned This Morning

2010-12-15T05:31:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't always make my point in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page. I mean, if you actually want to see it all :).)

I knew it would be hard to stay uninvolved - physically - from the things going on around me once I got home but thought I could do it. I didn't do so well today, my first morning home, and am paying the price...

Pete has an appt. in Saginaw at 9:45 this morning. It is a 2-hour drive. With the icy roads we allowed extra time, and planned to leave at 7:15. And had to get the baby ready to go with us.

As Pete was trying to fix some eggs for the baby and I, I worked on packing some snacks and drinks for him, which entailed reaching to a top cupboard shelf. It hurt; I sat down with my tea and meds and eggs. Pete was running around trying to get everything ready to go so I helped with dressing Leelan. Ouch. Because of the rush, I ate my 3 bites of eggs too fast, or didn't chew them well, or something; now, 2 hours later, I'm still hurting. Then, a few minutes ago, I twisted around in my seat to see what Leelan was doing when he started to whine. MAJOR OUCH!

Right now I'm really hurting, but mostly wondering how am I going to not get involved when things need to be done? At my sister's it was easy because none of the activity was "my stuff" - now it is. And I thought I could not get involved...this is too important, I have to figure something out here...this can't continue. Meanwhile the baby is fussing in the back seat...

Gwen was right, this morning is too much.

...And I Continue to Add Foods...

2010-12-14T20:06:00.000-08:00

Last night I went out to the Christmas party for the company I work with seasonally (April-Oct). As always it was a great time, but I had reservations about what I might be able to eat. This is the first restaurant meal since the surgery. But they had a very tasty potato-crusted cod on the menu, and I got that with a peeled baked potato. Delicious! I was able to eat about 10 tiny bites of each, and took the rest back to my sister's where I had a little more of each for breakfast, and then finished it off this evening for supper.

Throughout the day today I was in the car a lot. So I had a container of creamy cottage cheese (4% milkfat) and a plastic spoon. Whenever I got hungry I ate a few spoonsful of that. Soon after arriving home I finished off my fish and potato from yesterday (reheated in a frying pan with butter). About 90 minutes later I had SF jello with plain full-fat yogurt. And my new food for the day was turkey ham. I nibbled on a slice as my last "meal" of the day, with no problems or issues.

Tomorrow will be a challenge, as we are leaving early in the morning for an appointment my husband has 2.5 hours away, and will be gone much of the day. I will take my container of yogurt and a spoon, and probably a couple of slices of ham, since I will need to eat several times while we're out.

Things continue to come along very well, I'm eating just fine and my stomach is handling everything I send down. The appointment with my surgeon's PA went well, he seemed pleased at how things are going also, and I have lost 10#. I am just going to keep doing what I'm doing, many small meals a day, adding 1-2 new foods each day in small quantities, and not forcing my stomach to accept anything for which it is not ready. Other than potatoes I will be cutting back on the carbs now that I have plenty of low-carb options available to me; hopefully I will be back at my usual level of carbs within a week or two, and will have eliminated carby foods altogether by then. I have decided, however, that I will allow a baked potato or 2 per week.

All is well :).

Lovely To Be Home!

2010-12-14T19:55:00.000-08:00

It was a long day. Lots of riding in the car which is exhausting and not comfortable...but not as painful as it was on my way back to Gwen's from the hospital. Got home and my wonderful husband had the house so clean and tidy - better than I do! He brought in, and put away, my loads of stuff from the last 2 weeks as I rested in my recliner and greeted my dogs (good thing I put a pillow over my belly for protection!).

Had my post-surgical checkup this afternoon with my surgeon's PA. Everything seems to be coming along fine. The hard lump around my navel is a hematoma that will eventually be absorbed. I had a long list of questions, and all were answered to my satisfaction. I was especially glad to learn that I can once again take aspirin and NSAIDs. Because my liver enzymes tend to go above normal levels so often, my doctor doesn't like me to take tylenol. And because my stomach has been so bad for so long, she hasn't allowed aspirin or NSAIDs either. So just for arthritis pain I have had to take narcotics, and have found them to be much less effective. She gives me the kinds that have a lot of narcotic with just a little tylenol, and I guess they work from the perspective that I don't care so much about the pain. But I now can start taking regular aspirin (my best resource) or motrin again, or for more severe pain, I can take a larger dose of motrin and alternate it with a small dose of tylenol, which gives me better relief for almost anything than narcotics do. This was great news!

I can drive again 3 weeks post-op; have sex carefully as comfort/lack of pain dictates; lift my grandson after 4 weeks from a higher elevation (he can climb onto furniture and I can pick him up from there), eat oopsies without the same issues bread causes (I won't be able to have bread for a very long time, if ever), and so forth. All is going well and with care should continue to do so. I will see the surgeon again on January 14th.

The PA re-iterated that the first 100 days will be critical to my healing, so I plan to take good care of myself, do the best I can nutritionally and every other way. He also told me that it will be a year before I am fully healed, and that sometimes it even takes a little longer. He said that my brain will be under some effects of anesthesia for over a month, and between that and the impact on my body from the stresses of this kind of surgery, my exhaustion and feeling drained is to be expected for at least that long.

So all is well, I am home, my dear husband is taking good care of me, and I will continue to concentrate on doing everything I can to heal well - it's the only chance I have to do it right, and the rest of my life depends on it :).

Going Home - Day 13

2010-12-14T07:07:00.000-08:00

I am so very very thankful for this time to recover at my sister's house for the last 8 days! The whole family has be so helpful, and as I have been gaining strength they have offered whatever support I needed. This has been an extremely important part of my continuing recovery and there are no words to thank them enough!

This afternoon I see my surgeon in Midland. My husband will meet us there, and then take me home. I am ready I think. I have warned him that I can't just pick up where I left off on November 30th. I can take care of myself, pretty much. I can do some things. I need to walk and exercise. But I can't lift, still have pain with twisting or stretching or reaching, and still can't reach down to the floor from a standing position to pick something up. But I will be home, and I will do what I can and continue to push myself a little bit each day.

Last night, going to the Bug Man Christmas party at Hershey's in East Lansing, was great! It felt so good to go out for supper and spend time with friends! I had been concerned about what I'd be able to eat but they had some potato-crusted cod, and I ordered a baked potato without the skin. The cod was AMAZING and I ate about a dozen bites. I sliced the end off the potato and smashed it and buttered it well, and it too was absolutely delicious! But of course the company was the best :). The guys and their wives are all delightfully wonderfully nice and funny (loved Rick's quote, "If you're going to be stupid you'd better be tough!"), and there is always a lot of laughter and fellowship in Christ! What a great group I work with, even though Christmas is the only time I see them - lol. But now I can't wait to get back to work in the spring!

I'm still in bed but need to get up and showered and packed, and eat some leftover cod and potato for breakfast!

Day 11: What I'm Eating These Days

2010-12-12T09:16:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - cheapeasylowcarb.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't always make my point in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page. I mean, if you actually want to see it all :).)

I guess you could say I'm eating low carb although I'm not necessarily eating a low carb foods. But the amounts of food that I'm taking in are so small that even a carby food only adds a few grams, and I've been around - or below - the 10g/day mark every day so far. I'm not afraid to add more (either carbs or calories which I never pay attention to) though, this early in the recovery process.

So what have I been eating? I mentioned yogurt before...I have a bucket of full fat plain yogurt here. It is wonderful that with a splash of vanilla a drop of liquid sucralose I have vanilla - or tossed with SF jello I have a raspberry or lime salad - or whatever. It is thick and creamy and great to have. I also have full fat cottage cheese, which I've eaten alone or tossed with jello also. Eggs are another food I'm eating, and were my only good protein source up until a couple of days ago when I had some tuna with lots of full fat mayo. It was delicious! And I have had some cream of rice cereal (with cream and butter and liquid sucralose), and also some potato - both leftover baked with lots of butter (no skin of course), and the flakes mixed with my broth and butter. Typing it all out like this, I can see that I've had quite an extensive selection!

I miss vegetables. I'd like some winter squash (a fruit, I know, but still...) like butternut or turban or acorn...or baked sweet potato, either with lots of butter and cinnamon, and a little brown sugar sub. I'd like some meat that I can chew, even though I know I will have to chew a lot, like a good chicken thigh. (Beef and pork come later.) But mostly it is the vegetables I miss.

Last night I combined flavors by browning a tsp or so of potato flakes in some butter; then I added some shredded cheese, and when that was melty I topped it with a beaten egg. Once the edges set I could turn it over and cook the other side. I was really surprised I was able to eat the whole thing without getting the "stop eating now!" feeling that usually hits me after just a few bites, and it was really really good. Might even be something that I will make once in a while after my diet is back to normal - or the new normal :).

I'm still excited about food and spend much of my leisure time (which is almost all of the time!) watching cooking videos online. Until life gets back to the new normal I am happy with what I've got, and with what I'm eating :).

(Other details, the ones that don't involve food, of my recovery can be found at my chiachatter.blogspot.com blog.)

Hard to Believe it is Day 11 Already!

2010-12-12T08:54:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't always make my point in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page. I mean, if you actually want to see it all :).)

Yesterday Gwen took me to Menard's so I could walk. I feel the need for exercise, and Menard's was a great choice even for the 2nd-Saturday-before-Christmas! Wide aisles, very well-lit, and not crowded as the mall or Walmart would be. I was able to walk the inner perimeter of the store - not the very outside aisles, but the next-smaller perimeter. Stopped a few times to rest and catch my breath but made it all the way around. At the end my legs were wobbly and I was really winded but it was worth it! The fresh cold air and the exercise really helped me. I wish I could do it every day! (And, as a side note, Menard's has changed a LOT since the last time I was there, right after the store opened, when I still lived down here!)

I ate pretty well yesterday: spread my SF-jello-and-yogurt breakfast out over a couple of hours, then had a supper of potato flakes browned in butter, then a layer a cheese, then a beaten egg poured over it all. Have to say it was not only the most elaborate meal I've had since my surgery but also my most filling! I did eat the whole egg though (potato flakes and shredded cheese about a Tbsp combined, if that) and that was good! Then had the remainder of my tuna/mayo later in the evening. So I did well. But I'm still craving vegetables. I will try a sweet potato (no skin of course) when I get home, I haven't had a veggie in 2 weeks except a couple bites of pureed carrot in the hospital.

Not a whole lot new to report other than the trip to Menard's, except that I'm still having so much pain. Seems to be coming from a big hard lump around my navel, and it pulls from all directions and hurts enough that I sometimes want to cry. It is also increasing in size. If not for that I think I would be much more comfortable, as this pain is overpowering the rest of the belly pain that I've been experiencing, to the point that I can't even tell if the other pain is still there. It is pretty severe and I'm not sure why it is appearing now and getting worse each day...but I see the surgeon on Tuesday, so I guess we'll find out then...and then I am going home! I have certainly appreciated this time at Gwen's to recover, and I certainly need much more time, but I think if I am very very careful, and with the help of my wonderful husband and daughter, I can do it there. I have been very comfortable and had lots of help to get stronger here, and just love the time with my sister and her family...but of course there is no place like home :).

Day 9: Antibiotics and Pain

2010-12-10T20:51:00.000-08:00

Today the pain was much worse, but I know why: last night I kept waking up on my side. That is my standard position for sleep, and for some reason I kept reverting to it throughout the night, And it HURT! I haven't been able to lay on my side since the surgery, it is WAY too painful. And today I paid for it. So tonight I put the dreaded "girdle" back on. Because it caused that enormous, painful, seepy rash the last time I wore it, it is on over a t-shirt and not touching my skin. The support is already helping with the pain - I wish I would have worn it all day, now, rather than suffer.

The results of last night's blood work came in, apparently I have a UTI. Started on cipro today.

I feel that I'm losing ground with strength though. I walk "laps" around my sister's house, and I use the apparatus from the respiratory therapist many times a day, but I'm starting to get winded again. So Gwen has agreed to take me to Menard's so that I can walk around tomorrow. I don't know how far I will get but I do know it is what I need.

Ate pretty well, maybe a whole cup of food all together! Had the applesauce/yogurt/cinnamon/sweetener for breakfast, almost half of a small can of tuna with plenty of mayo for lunch, and for "supper" some lime SF jello with cottage cheese. I had slightly - very slightly! - larger portions today, but I absolutely must stop eating at the first sign of satiation. Any more and I'm in pain. So I'm constantly listening to my body, chewing until food is completely liquified, and allowing 30 seconds MINIMUM between bites. I had no idea how fast I ate before, but watching the clock now is very revealing.

And I burped a couple of times today too - YAY! So many people who have this surgery can no longer burp that I am thankful I dodged that particular bullet!

This isn't weight loss surgery but I'm losing weight fairly quickly. I crave my good low carb meats and veggies, and am finally starting to look forward to being able to eat them again.

I know that in time I will be able to eat more normally, and once I get home I will start more aggressively adding in new foods as I heal. I will love the day when I can have a juicy cheeseburger (no bun of course, that's no different than before) with SF ketchup and mayo! :)

Day 8 and Blood Sugar/Insulin Thoughts

2010-12-09T19:47:00.000-08:00

This is a repost of my chiachatter blog, because I'm not sure quite what happened with my blood sugar while in the hospital and am hoping someone reading this can help with that.

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please click below to see the entire post or go to my blog itself. I don't always make my point in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page. I mean, if you actually want to see it all :).)

For up to 48 hours now I have had chills - low-grade fever (my normal is 97.2, so 99.7 would be like 101.1 if 98.6 were the guideline) - increased pain. The lortab syrup today didn't help the pain much, it brings the fever down into the 97's for a couple of hours, then it shoots right back up. Also my urine output has been less much than half of my intake, and very very dark. And today, no appetite at all. For lunch I ate half of a little peach sorbet with a spoonful of plain yogurt mixed in, then I only ate half of the mixture...so less than 1/4c. My stomach didn't want food this evening but my mouth wanted a slice of american cheese, which I broke into small pieces and sucked on, one at a time, lest I make my stomach mad at me :).

And still I drink. I drink water until I feel ready to burst. All day I am drinking water, and all day I feel stuffed and sloshing inside.

So this afternoon my sister had me fax my surgeon over in Midland (over an hour away) with what's going on. He faxed back an order for a UA and blood work. Getting that done made my sister miss her daughters' Christmas program at school :(. Tomorrow morning he will let us know what's up.

I want to eat. In particular I want some tuna fish with mayo. But my stomach says it isn't hungry. So I keep gagging down water in case I'm dehydrated (my sister knows more about these things than I do.)

I also want to mention something curious. My blood sugar is great, right around 100 first thing in the morning, it doesn't really vary that much as far as I can tell, and after 6.5 years of low carbing, I can tell :). But during my surgery it shot up to 247. So they put me on insulin. I don't know how much or when or how since I was drugged up for the first 2 days and it was all over by the time I was alert enough to question. The next morning (Friday) it was 141 first thing and they were going to give me more insulin. I said that couldn't be right, and after another test a short while later it was 127 so they didn't. And it never went over 114 after that, usually right around 100-106, though they were testing 4 times a day for the remainder of my hospitalization. I find it all very curious, and - though I'm sure this isn't the case - it seemed to me that they almost wanted me to be diabetic. It's just not right, an overweight middle-aged woman who isn't, right?

Ok, so tomorrow I want to eat tuna and mayo. I sure hope I can get permission from my stomach!

Day 8 and Blood Sugar/Insulin Thoughts

2010-12-09T19:44:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please click below to see the entire post or go to my blog itself. I don't always make my point in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page. I mean, if you actually want to see it all :).)

For up to 48 hours now I have had chills - low-grade fever (my normal is 97.2, so 99.7 would be like 101.1 if 98.6 were the guideline) - increased pain. The lortab syrup today didn't help the pain much, it brings the fever down into the 97's for a couple of hours, then it shoots right back up. Also my urine output has been less much than half of my intake, and very very dark. And today, no appetite at all. For lunch I ate half of a little peach sorbet with a spoonful of plain yogurt mixed in, then I only ate half of the mixture...so less than 1/4c. My stomach didn't want food this evening but my mouth wanted a slice of american cheese, which I broke into small pieces and sucked on, one at a time, lest I make my stomach mad at me :).

And still I drink. I drink water until I feel ready to burst. All day I am drinking water, and all day I feel stuffed and sloshing inside.

So this afternoon my sister had me fax my surgeon over in Midland (over an hour away) with what's going on. He faxed back an order for a UA and blood work. Getting that done made my sister miss her daughters' Christmas program at school :(. Tomorrow morning he will let us know what's up.

I want to eat. In particular I want some tuna fish with mayo. But my stomach says it isn't hungry. So I keep gagging down water in case I'm dehydrated (my sister knows more about these things than I do.)

I also want to mention something curious. My blood sugar is great, right around 100 first thing in the morning, it doesn't really vary that much as far as I can tell, and after 6.5 years of low carbing, I can tell :). But during my surgery it shot up to 247. So they put me on insulin. I don't know how much or when or how since I was drugged up for the first 2 days and it was all over by the time I was alert enough to question. The next morning (Friday) it was 141 first thing and they were going to give me more insulin. I said that couldn't be right, and after another test a short while later it was 127 so they didn't. And it never went over 114 after that, usually right around 100-106, though they were testing 4 times a day for the remainder of my hospitalization. I find it all very curious, and - though I'm sure this isn't the case - it seemed to me that they almost wanted me to be diabetic. It's just not right, an overweight middle-aged woman who isn't, right?

Ok, so tomorrow I want to eat tuna and mayo. I sure hope I can get permission from my stomach!

It's Still All About The Food

2010-12-08T12:50:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please click below to see the entire post or go to my blog itself. I don't always make my point in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page. I mean, if you actually want to see it all :).)

I'm posting this to both of my blogs, and those who only follow ChiaChatter will have to go to yesterday's post to see details of my recent surgery, if you want to get up to speed.

Thinking of how I am now eating, food is still my passion. The big difference is, how can I make my miniscule (2-3 Tbsp) meals a little more interesting, especially given my current limitations? Especially since I have to eat so freakin' many of them to get even a minimum of nutrition into my system...

My doctor has said that I can eat anything except bread, raw veggies, and - oh, I can't think of the other thing, but I won't be eating it anyway. Because he instructed me only to avoid those 3 areas, and chew well.

But before I had the surgery I did ALL kinds of research, from pdf instructions sheets of other docs who do the procedure, to medical sites, to a forum especially for fundoplication patients. And the vast majority, in talking about getting back to regular food, have much more specific instructions or experience. So, because the failure rate of this surgery is so high, and because the side effects can be disastrous, I am electing to collect all of the knowledge I gained, and create my own plan based upon the most conservative and logical of them all. I want to have the best possible outcome with the fewest possible post-surgical issues, and feel I need to be my own best "meal planner". It seems to me that most of those who are living with awful lifetime side effects or have had to repeat the surgery didn't go the most conservative route. I may be wrong, but this is how I am proceeding.

24 hours after surgery I was put on clear liquids. 48 hours post op I was put on full liquids. This includes things like yogurt and custard. The first day I ate only yogurt. I could only eat a couple of bites at a time without feeling uncomfortable, so I nibbled at it all day. The next day I included a few bites of cream of wheat with butter (yeah, they consider that liquid), and my doctor said that if I wanted to try soft food, he would change the order. So Saturday I tried some tilapia. The kitchen sent up rice with it though, and I put a few grains on the tip of my fork. Big mistake, lots of pain. I walked as far as I could to help things pass.

I think I need to insert here that my esophagus is considerably smaller than it was where it empties into my stomach. Stuff can get stuck. I have to eat taking tiny (1/2 tsp) bites, and chewing my food to a liquid consistency. I cannot drink more than a few tiny sips while eating (google "dumping syndrome"), or for 30 minutes before or after. Any foods that are hard to digest (including fiber), have skins, or seeds, or nuts, or cause gas, or could swell after swallowing or are carbonated - all off limits for now. So I need to get the maximum nutrition into the minimum intake, and the maximum hydration into the minimal time I have between the tiny meals - while observing the above cautions. Should something get stuck, I can take small sips of very warm (can't have anything very hot or very cold either) water and try to walk it off.

The problem on Saturday evening was that I was in the throes of pneumonia, weak as a kitten, and could only walk a short distance before becoming wobbly and winded. But it did pass, and I decided I would wait a few more days before trying soft or softened solid foods again.

Sunday I continued with yogurt, and added custard. Monday morning before my discharge I ate half of a scrambled egg. Introducing only 1-2 "new" foods a day is part of my conservative dietary after-care per one of the instructions sheets I'd read.

I was still living with a lot of pain when I was discharged, and no appetite to speak of. The hour+ ride to my sister's left me very weak; liquid lortab helped with the pain. I added both applesauce and cottage cheese to my diet that evening without a bad result.

Yesterday I got a little experimental, and discovered that 2 spoons of plain full fat yogurt with 1 spoon of applesauce, sprinkled with cinnamon, and stir in a drop of liquid sucralose - creamy apple pie in a dish! This was my first really enjoyable dish. And for supper, a small piece of leftover potato, put through the chopper with some milk and butter until creamy and smooth, and heated. Who would have thought that a leftover potato could taste so amazing??

Today I had some SF jello with a scoop of cottage cheese that lasted me for several hours (about 1/2c total). Just now I took some of my broth that I'd saved up from my pre-surgical meals (frozen), and heated it with a chunk of butter, then mixed in a few mashed potato flakes to thicken. I let it sit for quite a while to make sure the flakes were fully "inflated" before I ate it. In fact I am still eating it, and it will last throughout the evening most likely. It was delightful to taste my own seasonings again.

So it is all about baby steps - and baby bites! - and patience and listening to my own body. If my stomach starts sending out the "full" message, one more bite will cause pain. And today is the first day I have really felt hunger. To me this is a good thing, a sign of healing. So many people are unable to burp or vomit after this procedure that these issues are to be almost expected, although I have been able to burp a few times. And life of flatulence will also be a result. Lots and lots of flatulence...

Whereas before I took great satisfaction in a delicious plate full of food, in creating an entire glorious meal, now it is much more simple - just blending a couple of flavors to keep the boredom at bay, and the anticipation and even excitement of adding in a new food every now and again.

Everything will be different from now on. But given what I have suffered the last 19 years, progressing to what it became the last few (my husband, daughter, and sister are really the only ones who know the extent of that), this is a small price to pay to get my life back. As time goes on it will become natural, and I will also be able to eat more normally. Doc says a year to heal completely, the first 100 days will be critical. And it is these 100 days that I don't want to do anything to mess it all up. Baby steps, slow and steady...and simple pleasures like apple pie in a bowl where I can find them :).

It's Still All About The Food

2010-12-08T12:49:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please click below to see the entire post or go to my blog itself. I don't always make my point in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page. I mean, if you actually want to see it all :).)

I'm posting this to both of my blogs, and those who only follow ChiaChatter will have to go to yesterday's post to see details of my recent surgery, if you want to get up to speed.

Thinking of how I am now eating, food is still my passion. The big difference is, how can I make my miniscule (2-3 Tbsp) meals a little more interesting, especially given my current limitations? Especially since I have to eat so freakin' many of them to get even a minimum of nutrition into my system...

My doctor has said that I can eat anything except bread, raw veggies, and - oh, I can't think of the other thing, but I won't be eating it anyway. Because he instructed me only to avoid those 3 areas, and chew well.

But before I had the surgery I did ALL kinds of research, from pdf instructions sheets of other docs who do the procedure, to medical sites, to a forum especially for fundoplication patients. And the vast majority, in talking about getting back to regular food, have much more specific instructions or experience. So, because the failure rate of this surgery is so high, and because the side effects can be disastrous, I am electing to collect all of the knowledge I gained, and create my own plan based upon the most conservative and logical of them all. I want to have the best possible outcome with the fewest possible post-surgical issues, and feel I need to be my own best "meal planner". It seems to me that most of those who are living with awful lifetime side effects or have had to repeat the surgery didn't go the most conservative route. I may be wrong, but this is how I am proceeding.

24 hours after surgery I was put on clear liquids. 48 hours post op I was put on full liquids. This includes things like yogurt and custard. The first day I ate only yogurt. I could only eat a couple of bites at a time without feeling uncomfortable, so I nibbled at it all day. The next day I included a few bites of cream of wheat with butter (yeah, they consider that liquid), and my doctor said that if I wanted to try soft food, he would change the order. So Saturday I tried some tilapia. The kitchen sent up rice with it though, and I put a few grains on the tip of my fork. Big mistake, lots of pain. I walked as far as I could to help things pass.

I think I need to insert here that my esophagus is considerably smaller than it was where it empties into my stomach. Stuff can get stuck. I have to eat taking tiny (1/2 tsp) bites, and chewing my food to a liquid consistency. I cannot drink more than a few tiny sips while eating (google "dumping syndrome"), or for 30 minutes before or after. Any foods that are hard to digest (including fiber), have skins, or seeds, or nuts, or cause gas, or could swell after swallowing or are carbonated - all off limits for now. So I need to get the maximum nutrition into the minimum intake, and the maximum hydration into the minimal time I have between the tiny meals - while observing the above cautions. Should something get stuck, I can take small sips of very warm (can't have anything very hot or very cold either) water and try to walk it off.

The problem on Saturday evening was that I was in the throes of pneumonia, weak as a kitten, and could only walk a short distance before becoming wobbly and winded. But it did pass, and I decided I would wait a few more days before trying soft or softened solid foods again.

Sunday I continued with yogurt, and added custard. Monday morning before my discharge I ate half of a scrambled egg. Introducing only 1-2 "new" foods a day is part of my conservative dietary after-care per one of the instructions sheets I'd read.

I was still living with a lot of pain when I was discharged, and no appetite to speak of. The hour+ ride to my sister's left me very weak; liquid lortab helped with the pain. I added both applesauce and cottage cheese to my diet that evening without a bad result.

Yesterday I got a little experimental, and discovered that 2 spoons of plain full fat yogurt with 1 spoon of applesauce, sprinkled with cinnamon, and stir in a drop of liquid sucralose - creamy apple pie in a dish! This was my first really enjoyable dish. And for supper, a small piece of leftover potato, put through the chopper with some milk and butter until creamy and smooth, and heated. Who would have thought that a leftover potato could taste so amazing??

Today I had some SF jello with a scoop of cottage cheese that lasted me for several hours (about 1/2c total). Just now I took some of my broth that I'd saved up from my pre-surgical meals (frozen), and heated it with a chunk of butter, then mixed in a few mashed potato flakes to thicken. I let it sit for quite a while to make sure the flakes were fully "inflated" before I ate it. In fact I am still eating it, and it will last throughout the evening most likely. It was delightful to taste my own seasonings again.

So it is all about baby steps - and baby bites! - and patience and listening to my own body. If my stomach starts sending out the "full" message, one more bite will cause pain. And today is the first day I have really felt hunger. To me this is a good thing, a sign of healing. So many people are unable to burp or vomit after this procedure that these issues are to be almost expected, although I have been able to burp a few times. And life of flatulence will also be a result. Lots and lots of flatulence...

Whereas before I took great satisfaction in a delicious plate full of food, in creating an entire glorious meal, now it is much more simple - just blending a couple of flavors to keep the boredom at bay, and the anticipation and even excitement of adding in a new food every now and again.

Everything will be different from now on. But given what I have suffered the last 19 years, progressing to what it became the last few (my husband, daughter, and sister are really the only ones who know the extent of that), this is a small price to pay to get my life back. As time goes on it will become natural, and I will also be able to eat more normally. Doc says a year to heal completely, the first 100 days will be critical. And it is these 100 days that I don't want to do anything to mess it all up. Baby steps, slow and steady...and simple pleasures like apple pie in a bowl where I can find them :).

Another post-surgical report

2010-12-07T00:10:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please click below to see the entire post or go to my blog itself. I don't always make my point in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page. I mean, if you actually want to see it all :).)

I have now completed day 5 successfully. There is still a LOT of pain, and now itching and burning also: the binder that I had to wear around my middle caused not only a massive rash that looks the worst sunburn ever around my middle, but the skin is raw as well. I spent my last night in the hospital (Sunday night/Monday morning) sleeping very well, though, on IV Benadryl - they could've done another surgery and I don't think I would have known - and ice packs.

I guess I will have a bit of a recovery - a full year according to my doctor's partner, who I saw on Sunday, but the first 100 days will be the most important. I am slowly adding soft foods. I will never again be able to have carbonated beverages (or anything containing them such as slushies or punch or boston coolers) but a small price to pay...nor can I drink from straws again. Raw vegetables and bread, perhaps way off in the future, perhaps never. For now my diet is very restricted and I can count on 2 hands what I've had to eat in the last 6 days. But since I can only eat a few bites at a time (will have to eat up to 12 times a day, depending on which doctor I'm talking to, but the minimum seems to be 6), that's not an issue.

For the moment, I can't have anything with shells (like peas) or seeds, no "gassy" or fibrous vegetables (like cabbage family, most root veggies), no nuts, citrous, caffeine, tomato, chocolate...meat must be ground very fine, and moistened, and my doc recommends chicken and fish for their easier digestibility for the time being.

Everybody seems to be real curious as to what I had done. Actually I had 3 procedures in one: a hiatal hernia repair, a nissen fundoplication, and an umbilical hernial repair. The fundoplication is often done concurrently with the hiatal hernia repair these days, often enough that the line between the 2 procedures is becoming blurred, but you can have the HH repair without the NF certainly, or the other way around. But the issues that bring about the need for one or the other are often the same, and therefore they are often done together.

My stomach was in my chest. This caused not only my severe digestive issues and pain, but shortness of breath that made all but the shortest walks or simplest tasks impossible. My doctor first brought that back down into place, then repaired the "larger-than-expected" hole in my diaphragm. Then he pulled the fundus (top part of my stomach) around the lower end of my esophagus, wrapping it around like a hot dog bun around a wiener, and stitched it permanantly into place. This supports the damaged (when I was pregnant, 20 years ago) lower esophageal sphincter, or LES, and also recreated the angle that had been pulled out of place due to the hiatal hernia, that should have existed where the stomach met the esophagus. And lastly he repaired the umbilical hernia, stitching in the standard mesh to support the area.

This isn't a weight loss surgery, although my doctor had discussed doing a lap band at the same time - something I didn't want to do, for several reasons - but I will lose weight as a result, at least at first. First, my diet is quite limited and the foods that I am eating - scrambled egg, yogurt, cottage cheese - are pretty low carb. I won't be eating sweets and grains for a while yet, although cream of wheat or cream of rice is allowed, and I had one "meal" of it in the hospital. I don't think the carbs in the 2Tbsp that I can eat has enough carb to worry about :). I also had applesauce today - again, 2 Tbsp won't add weight, and my options are so limited that my main concern right now is just getting adequate nourishment from the minute amount of food that I'm able to consume. Still, I exist mostly on yogurt, cottage cheese, and just yesterday added scrambled egg.

As I am able to start adding more foods, and eat larger portions, I will of course continue on the same low carb path as I have followed the last 6-1/2 years. The plan is to not stretch or stress the new stomach area, obviously not returning to the large portions of my past. Combined with low carb eating, I expect that weight loss may continue. I hadn't wanted to lose more weight even though I'm still quite overweight (for reasons of my own) but in the interest of having the best possible outcome from this whole thing I will do so.

There is a LOT more pain than I had expected. Due to the diaphragm repair, every movement has been inhibited, although that is starting to get easier. You don't realize how important that muscle is until you have pain every time you use it! I have 6 holes in my belly (looks like I've been stabbed multiple times in a bar fight!) but the pain from those is minimal and I'm thankful he didn't have to revert to the open surgery.

The first 2 days are pretty much a blur, as I was on high amounts of pain killers and was either saying silly things (according to others) or sleeping. The next 3 days were just pain and weakness, now with the pneumonia added to the mix. But according to my sister, who stayed at the hospital 24/7 with me, she saw continuous improvements - and yes, I can see them also, in hindsight. Those 5 days in the hospital I went from not being able to sit up by myself, to getting out of bed and walking with only my walker for help, taking my own shower with minimal help, sitting in a chair, etc. So yes, those were great improvements given the extent of the surgery and the added issue of the pneumonia.

So I am now settled at my sister's for a week to continue getting stronger and learning how to eat and resting, exercising, and recovering. I'm homesick like crazy so I try not to think about it. I miss my husband more than I can even say, and can't wait to see him again next week. We have Skype at least :).

I will continue to write about my recovery and also diet changes, as so many people aren't familiar with the procedure (which is somewhat controversial due to its high failure rate and numbers of pretty awful side effects, but that's another post) - even many of the staff in the hospital I had to educate. Good thing I was so thorough in my research beforehand, eh? :)

Lastly I just want to say that the care I got from the staff at MidMichigan Midland hospital was EXCEPTIONAL! They really worked hard to control my pain and help me to recover and get "home" as quickly as possible. I was truly amazed, this was head and shoulders above any other hospital experience I have had. Everyone was so great!

So I will try to get back to sleep now, and write more when I am thus inspired. Thanks for reading :).

3 Days Later

2010-12-04T02:57:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please click below to see the entire post or go to my blog itself. I don't always make my point in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page. I mean, if you actually want to see it all :).)

I haven't felt up getting on my computer, or doing anything else actually, and still don't. But I can do a short update,

Surgery was long and tough as expected. I survived, as expected. Would have been discharged yesterday if I hadn't developed pneumonia - not expected. Who would have thought that, for a woman who does everything I do taking care of my home and family and a toddler, that walking 15' down the hall would be such an exhausting and difficult task??? Or writing in my blog...so that's it for today...

3 days Later...

2010-12-04T02:56:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please click below to see the entire post or go to my blog itself. I don't always make my point in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page. I mean, if you actually want to see it all :).)

I haven't felt up getting on my computer, or doing anything else actually, and still don't. But I can do a short update,

Surgery was long and tough as expected. I survived, as expected. Would have been discharged yesterday if I hadn't developed pneumonia - not expected. Who would have thought that, for a woman who does everything I do taking care of my home and family and a toddler, that walking 15' down the hall would be such an exhausting and difficult task??? Or writing in my blog...so that's it for today...

Today Is The Day

2010-12-01T02:27:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please click below to see the entire post or go to my blog itself. I don't always make my point in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page. I mean, if you actually want to see it all :).)

In about half an hour I will be leaving for the hospital for my life-changing surgery. I anticipate all will go well, with all of the prayers of my family and friends and knowing that God holds me always in the palm of His hand. Nothing happens to me that He doesn't allow, or cause, and He is faithful. I am planning on a positive outcome in spite of the relatively high numbers of failures (3-4 of every 10 according to WebMD) that can cause lifelong issues which can be way worse than the ones the surgery is intended to correct. I have faith that I won't be in that number but if I am it is because God has a purpose for me in that condition and in that case, I will still consider it good. Even if He decides it is my day to go home, it will be good. So it is win win win no matter what, but of course, the probability and the hope and the plan are for remission of the pain and other symptoms. This is a "last resort" surgery, and the key to my future.

Things will be different afterward. Even though it is NOT weight loss surgery, how I eat will be changed. Once I'm past the clear liquid stage...then the full liquid stage...then the soft foods...and so on until I'm eating everything I can, there are certain foods I may never be able to eat again, or not for many months, but it will be worth that sacrifice. Whether I want to or not, I will have to lose more weight (ugh, I HATE HATE HATE the saggy skin!) so that it doesn't fail. As a foodie, these things are more concerning to me than today surgery itself, but whatever comes God and I will deal with it. I will just have to be a different kind of foodie I guess :). I changed how I shopped/cooked/ate when I went low carb 6-1/2 years ago, I can do it again if need be!

I expect to be back online by tomorrow, if not today. Not sure if the hospital has internet or, if not, if my internet stick will get a good enough signal there. I should only have to be in there for a couple of days if all goes well. I'm so thankful for the people who have made this happen, who followed God's leading and are doing so much for me, there aren't words big enough to say it but I think they know...

As soon as hubby gets the car loaded (I'll be staying at my sister's for a while afterward so I have "stuff") we'll be off!

Today Is The Day

2010-12-01T02:25:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please click below to see the entire post or go to my blog itself. I don't always make my point in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page. I mean, if you actually want to see it all :).)

In about half an hour I will be leaving for the hospital for my life-changing surgery. I anticipate all will go well, with all of the prayers of my family and friends and knowing that God holds me always in the palm of His hand. Nothing happens to me that He doesn't allow, or cause, and He is faithful. I am planning on a positive outcome in spite of the relatively high numbers of failures (3-4 of every 10 according to WebMD) that can cause lifelong issues which can be way worse than the ones the surgery is intended to correct. I have faith that I won't be in that number but if I am it is because God has a purpose for me in that condition and in that case, I will still consider it good. Even if He decides it is my day to go home, it will be good. So it is win win win no matter what, but of course, the probability and the hope and the plan are for remission of the pain and other symptoms. This is a "last resort" surgery, and the key to my future.

Things will be different afterward. Even though it is NOT weight loss surgery, how I eat will be changed. Once I'm past the clear liquid stage...then the full liquid stage...then the soft foods...and so on until I'm eating everything I can, there are certain foods I may never be able to eat again, or not for many months, but it will be worth that sacrifice. Whether I want to or not, I will have to lose more weight (ugh, I HATE HATE HATE the saggy skin!) so that it doesn't fail. As a foodie, these things are more concerning to me than today surgery itself, but whatever comes God and I will deal with it. I will just have to be a different kind of foodie I guess :). I changed how I shopped/cooked/ate when I went low carb 6-1/2 years ago, I can do it again if need be!

I expect to be back online by tomorrow, if not today. Not sure if the hospital has internet or, if not, if my internet stick will get a good enough signal there. I should only have to be in there for a couple of days if all goes well. I'm so thankful for the people who have made this happen, who followed God's leading and are doing so much for me, there aren't words big enough to say it but I think they know...

As soon as hubby gets the car loaded (I'll be staying at my sister's for a while afterward so I have "stuff") we'll be off!

SMACK Between the Eyes

2010-11-28T20:05:00.000-08:00

I love church. I can't remember a single Sunday that I didn't come away with something that stayed with me and helped me grow as a Christian or in my relationship to Christ - not a single time. God uses every message our pastor gives in one way or another in my growth.

So I have come to anticipate God speaking the things I need to hear every week through him, but today was something altogether different. Of the most pressing spiritual areas I'm pondering or struggling with, he hit them all. Bing, bang, boom! But there is one thing I wanted to write about because of its relevance in my life right now: I have been using the wrong shield!

The following is a direct quote from today's sermon, in reference to the shield of faith in Ephesians chapter 6 (that I thought I knew all about!):

"Many are using the wrong shield. We try to conquer the temptations & flesh in our own strength.
We fail time & time again, yet we keep trying, hoping that some day we will get it right.
Often we are not properly using the shield, & wondering why we are not victorious against the fiery arrows of the evil one. We have the Word of God, we know the Word of God, but we don’t practice the Word of God.
"James 1:22 says, 'Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.'”

Here's where I go wrong! I do listen to the Word and I do do what it says in most cases - ie, not lying and stealing and murdering and such - but when it comes to conquering temptations and flesh, I vow to do better next time, or I try harder and harder each time...and like he said, I keep trying and hoping some day I'll get it right. Oh, I'll throw up a prayer, "I'm sorry I failed yet again, Father...help me to get it right next time." But what do I change? what do I DO, according to the Word in James 1:22? Do I keep doing the same things that lead to my failure, reading the Word, but not doing what it says in relation to my temptations and flesh? Do I USE the Word to know what to DO, what I need to change? Or do I listen to it, read it, and not change a thing yet still attempt to "do better" next time? Do I have believe that the shield of faith can protect me...but then just leave it hanging on the wall and not pick it up and put in front of me?

"Yeah, God, I know that shield hanging on the wall over there will protect me, I read all about it, blah blah blah...now let me get back to trying to gain a little ground against this temptation here...oh, and will you help me please?"

*SMACK*

Coming Down To The Wire

2010-11-26T10:35:00.000-08:00

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please click below to see the entire post or go to my blog itself. I don't always make my point in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page. I mean, if you actually want to see it all :).)

5 more days. I realized last night that I don't want to do this. Yes, I want - no, NEED - relief, and yes this is a last resort, and no nothing else has worked, and yes this is supposed to improve my quality of life. So why don't I want it? As bad as things are, my pain is a "known". Life after next Wednesday, according to what I've read on online forums for people who have had it, is a great "unknown". That there are a fairly large number of people who have serious side effects or whose procedure fails doesn't concern me as much, as I know that God's hands will be on those of my surgeon, and both my soul and my body are under His care. (If there is a failure of some sort, it will be because God chooses to use that - to use me - somehow for His glory, and I'd be ok with that too of course.)

So now Thanksgiving is over. I ate a plate of food, ate slowly, chewed well...and was sick until 6:00 this morning. These next 5 days will be spent on mostly liquids with small (a few bites) amounts of only those foods which will build up my body for the assault it is about to have on it. Plus I'm not sure how I will get my nutritional needs met in the days/weeks afterward, and my body will need all the nutrient support it can get for the healing. So I will be concentrating on quality protein in tiny amounts. I have been saving all of my meat juices, skimming off the fats and straining out every morsel of food, and freezing them for my clear liquids afterward, and plan to make a good marrow broth as well for the nutritional value.

I've been pushing myself to accomplish things these last couple of weeks, and by mid-day my body is screaming at me to stop but I always push just a little more, so much I want to get done before Wednesday. Yesterday making Thanksgiving dinner I had to slam down painkillers through the day just to get through it. Last night - well, early this morning - I decided that whatever didn't get done isn't going to happen now. No more pushing, no more eating, no more accomplishing. From now on it is just about preparing my body and my spirit and my mind...

It will all be fine, I'm not fearful, I just don't want to face the unknown. But I'm not facing it alone. Besides family and friends who will be with me I will be in a "God-cloud" through it all, as I always am. There's no room for fear but leaving the known, no matter how miserable and painful it is, for the unknown isn't something I am looking forward to. I will do it - I HAVE to do it - but I don't want to do it.

Less Than Two Weeks....

2010-11-18T10:12:00.000-08:00

...and as soon as I realized that, within seconds of opening my eyes this morning, I developed an instant headache and nausea. Instant. I talked to God about it, it isn't that I don't trust Him (how could I not?)...but putting myself into the hands of people in a profession that has betrayed and even damaged me in the past is overwhelming. I felt a sense of panic. What will happen to me when I am at their mercy? Thankfully I am here as a result of God's mercy, and His trumps theirs...but the headache and nausea remain.

I had my telephone pre-registration appointment this morning. Her name was Linda. She has parrots too. Discussing them set me at ease before the actual interroga...er...interview began. She was very nice, good sense of humor, going through medical issues herself - I liked her. Until the end. I can't wear my wedding rings (yes, I have 2 bands, a story for another time), and they are so adamant about that that if I show up for surgery with my rings on, it will be canceled. She said they are dead serious about that. My heart started racing, I felt panic, and like I needed to run away. She told me that if they won't come off (and they won't, no matter WHAT you try - trust me on this!) they need to be cut off. CUT OFF?!?!?!? I started to freak out; she went from pleasant to insistent and was approaching dictatorial, at least from my perspective. I couldn't wait to get off the phone and try to pretend it didn't happen. Pete assured me that the jeweler will be able to put the rings back together afterward so I can wear them again. He'd better, if he can't then I don't know what I will do...this is perhaps the most awful thing I've heard yet.

Maybe you - whoever you are - don't "get" my feelings about all of this. Of course you don't know my history or my past, or me, well enough to understand it. That's ok. Just accept at face value that there are good reasons for these panics-alternating-with-periods-of-acceptance-even-if-not-CALM-acceptance. I need to get through the next less than 2 weeks, and better than I am doing it today.

Less than 2 weeks. The symbols of my strongest earthly bond taken off. Less than 2 weeks. The unexpected. Less than 2 weeks. At the mercy of people I don't trust. Less than 2 weeks...less than 2 weeks...less than 2 weeks...

All Eyes On December 1st

2010-11-15T08:16:00.000-08:00

Everything in my life, it seems, is focused on Dec. 1st. When I think about the future, it is divided into "before my surgery" and "after my surgery".

Goals for before my surgery: lay up a supply of food for my parrots (formerly known as Itty Bitty Birdie Bites, when I was still running my business); get my shop reorganized and cleaned; move our keyboards/bookcase/music books from the dining room to the half of my former shop that will now be the music room; clean the dining room, including the carpet; move my table/chairs from the sunroom to the dining room; clean the sunroom, including the carpet; move the futon into the sunroom for added living space or a place for guests; rearrange the bird cages to the other side of the living room so they'll have southern exposure and sunshine from the biggest windows through the winter, and move our living space to the other side where the birds were - of course cleaning thoroughly (including carpets!) as I go.

And I am putting up a website for our church. This is really important to me. Right now we are living without an income, and therefore without a tithe. This is our offering that God can use for the advancement of His kingdom and is very important for me to provide. It was grieving my heart that I had nothing to offer until we get some sort of income, then God put in my heart that I can still work toward growing His church and supporting my local congregation. Creating a website is how I am doing that. I want to get it up Before Surgery, and can fine-tune it and add to it After Surgery, especially in the first days (or weeks? I hope not!) when I probably won't be doing a whole lot else. But it energizes and excites me to know that I can still contribute resources to God's kingdom in this way.

These are the main things I want to accomplish. Each day I try to do at least SOMETHING toward my goals, depending on the state of my arthritis and gut pain I do more on some days than others. But these are things that I feel MUST be done.

I am writing an ebook also, and have picked it up and worked on it on and off for several months. Not sure what I will do with it once it is finished, but that is something I want to do After Surgery. I also want to do some more recording of music on my keyboard, and I have a lot of Christian materials here - music books, CDs, fiction and nonfiction books - that I need to organize and decide what I want to do with them...and I probably will be listing a bunch of stuff to sell that I will have weeded out during my rearranging and organizing Before Surgery.

I have much in my mind that needs to become reality, and I am making it happen. So I do what I can, when I can, and it will all get done...Before Surgery or After Surgery.

Low Carb Eating and Priorities

2010-11-15T07:40:00.000-08:00

I find I am not worrying about carbs as much as I am concerned with comfort at this point. Whatever doesn't cause pain is what I eat. And trying to reduce any inflammation in my gut before the surgery (the reason for the liquid diet suggestion by my primary doc) is a priority as well. The two should go hand in hand. I have been sticking with soft foods though, rather than liquids. I am not getting a whole lot of pain eating this way - along with my digestive enzyme supplements to help break things down - and I am guessing/hoping that the levels of pain and inflammation are connected...

At any rate, this is about carbs and not about pain or surgery :). And I have introduced some carby foods that I wouldn't normally eat, for the sake of the above. Low carb foods that I am eating are eggs/heavy cream scrambled with cheese...cottage cheese...chicken...cream soups (homemade)...string cheese...SF jello/whipped cream (sweetened with sweetzfree)...SF ice cream...yogurt...

What I have eaten that is comfortable to my gut but not low carb: potatoes (baked or mashed) and rice, both well-buttered, and both eaten minimally (only made rice once in fact).

I'm finding that more things bother me than I thought. Most vegetables are all but out of the question, as are many meats - although I do a pot roast the other day, cooked until very very tender - falling apart in fact - and could eat small amounts of that, very well-chewed. But only very small amounts.

This is only temporary, but I miss my cooking and the types of meals that I am so used to eating. I will get past this in a few months, and be able to get back to my beloved and precious low carb eating. I think I will pick up a good protein shake mix to add from now until the surgery, because I know I'm not getting enough protein. I also need a liquid vitamin supplement since the big pills are just too much...

Anyway, just an update on how I'm doing with my soft-foods and my eating. Nothing earth-shattering. Which is probably a good thing :).

At The Doctor Yesterday

2010-11-09T10:32:00.000-08:00

So there are a few things I need to do to prepare for surgery on Dec. 1st and one of them was to see my family doctor. Yesterday she did the standard stuff like an EKG and ordering lab work, and we also discussed the particulars of the upcoming surgery which she can pronounce and I still can't.

One of the things she mentioned is that I should consider going on a liquid diet now. This makes sense from the aspect that everything I eat makes me sick and causes pain and bloating anyway. (Recently I've had such huge bloats that even my largest pair of sweat pants don't fit, and I look flat-chested even though I wear a DD cup!) I know I can do this, I can do whatever I have to do. Many are the times I have wished to just go Home and leave the pain behind if I can't live without pain.

The irony here is that I am such a foodie! I go to sleep most nights watching recipe videos on YouTube. I blog about food, write about food, plan my life around food - not because I have a need to actually consume more food than others, but because everything about it fascinates me. I love creating dishes, I love serving food to those I love. I love grocery shopping, budgeting, planning. How food is used by the body, which foods cause health and wellness and which will kill, what our bodies need - and don't need - from the food we eat, why we eat what we do...everything about food fascinates me. Food is my passion.

Everything else we discussed during my 30-minute-long appointment is a blur now. All that stands out is that she strongly recommends I go on a liquid diet (not clear liquid, BTW) so that my "pipes" are in the best possible shape, and I will have the best possible outcome. And all I could think about was the huge grocery stockpiling I had just done last week, all of the wonderful marvelous dishes I had planned...

Today I am dealing with it all. I awoke this morning with the realization that I can still plan, shop, cook, and provide wonderful meals for my family and friends...I will just need to make my own soups and yogurt smoothies and things at the same time. (I will blog about what I will be eating in my other blog.)

Just another step on the journey, one that is maybe trying to trip me up a little bit but it is all part of attaining the goal of a normal healthy future.

Things Are Changing...

2010-11-01T10:54:00.000-07:00

...for the better I hope.

First, my gut surgery, which I have mentioned previously, is scheduled for December 1st. This is NOT weight-loss surgery. And I don't completely understand all of it but will probably mention it later either here or in my personal blog.

Meanwhile, I have a month and will work on losing some weight before that time. Actually I have already started. Don't plan to weigh myself, will just eat right and go from there.

As I've had so many health issues, and as my independence and entire life has become more and more limited, I believe depression had started to set in. I'm pretty familiar with the signs, having been hospitalized twice for it in the past (the WAY past, the last time was over 30 years ago), and have been fighting it with the help of God's grace. But when so many other things were taking priority in my life - like trying to manage just getting through each day - how and what I ate weren't at the top of the list anymore. I knew it but also knew that it was ok and had peace about it.

As I'd written before, I've been maintaining well for several years. During the periods when I've been unable to do the shopping and cooking and my wonderfully nurturing husband has stepped in, we've eaten carbier. And when we have had to resort to restaurants or carry-out, we've eaten carbier. It is only that I have shopped and cooked as much of the time as I have that I didn't regain all of my weight.

Anyway, I still don't want to lose so much weight that I have all of the hanging skin issues (yes, people keep telling me this will resolve in time - it's been well over 5 years and frankly folks, it ain't happening!) but I know that even if I lose another 10# this month it will help for the surgery and also afterward.

Speaking of afterward...I guess I'll be on liquids for some 2-3 (or more? don't remember) weeks, then on mushy (oatmeal consistency) foods, then gradually onto real foods. He mentioned something about not being able to eat raw vegetables (a staple to me!) but I don't know if that's temporary - I hope not. And I don't know if the dietary regimen after surgery is the same as after WLS (and it doesn't matter), but I do know that eating a liquid diet will probably cause me to lose even more weight.

I did tell Dr.F that my diet consists of 90% vegetables, meats, and dairy - in that order - and he said that will be fine, with the exception of raw veggies. So I guess that's something that I will need to clarify somehow...he also said something about not eating bread but that won't be an issue for me either, I do ok with my modified version of oopsies.

So. The whole point is that I'm back off maintaining my weight, and back to losing, at least for this month. Then after I get back to "normal" (either my old normal or a new normal) eating I will re-evaluate if I want to stay with my new weight, whatever that might be, or will continue losing until the loose skin issue approaches the intolerable level...but I am already doing self-talk with the latter option as the goal.

Things change, minds change, bodies change. Here we go!

Appointment with the Surgeon

2010-10-29T21:10:00.000-07:00

I've often spoken of my health issues here, but we are working on their resolution. First I was able to regain my sight last month, and am once again able to drive, read my music, read books, etc...so many things that I had enjoyed until the old cataract totally obliterated my vision, and messed up my depth and distance perception...but that's all history now.

The next thing that is being tackled is my gut. I've had gut issues for years of one sort or another, but the last 10 years or so they have become intolerable, with incredible bloating and pain, vomiting, etc. But now I have surgery scheduled for December 1st. It will be a difficult surgery the doctor said but I have great hopes that, eventually, after the healing period is past and time goes on, my quality of life will be vastly improved. My gut issues have been hell, and there have been times that I have wished for death rather than living with them one more day.

I don't know how much I will discuss the particulars of my surgery. Pete just had a major surgery last week, and after discussing it we agreed not to give details online. The reason? People tend to belittle our anxieties and minimize the procedure. "Oh that's not a big deal, I've known lots of people that had that done!" and similar comments make one feel stupid for our own concerns about our own upcoming procedures. So rather than opening that can of worms, we decided it is simply best if we ask for prayer or whatever, but keep the details of such things to ourselves.

During the next month I will be preparing mentally, physically, and spiritually. This will be a major life change, and at least for a while, how I can eat will be drastically changed (ie, liquids for the first few weeks). I elected NOT to have WLS at the same time, even though it would have been pretty easy while he's in there anyway, but that's not the route I want to go. Besides, I will be having 2 different surgeries in one and that's plenty I think.

I'm trying not to think about the surgery itself, or even the healing time afterward, but rather what life will be like when I am healed and back to "normal". It has been so long since I lived without pain every time I ate - or even if I don't - that I can hardly imagine it. Praise God that this is possible, and not only that but that it's scheduled to be done!

Just a Cataract Surgery...

2010-09-08T19:52:00.000-07:00

That's all it really is. 10 minutes at most. Pulverize the old lens, suck it out, and bung in a shiny new one. It's easier than getting a tooth filled. And less painless. Piece of cake.

It is also a key to a new life.

At the time I had my right eye done about 6 years ago (a guess, I don't remember really) the cataract was already forming in my left. The plan was to get it done in about a year, when it would be "ripe" enough. Trouble was, a year later I no longer had medical insurance. Or at any time since. So the cataract grew and grew until a couple of years ago my doc told me that my eye looked like an old dog's eye. I haven't seen anything through it in several years. Oh, I can tell if the light is on or off, but that's it.

Besides seeing nothing, it has skewed my depth and distance perception more than you can imagine. I run into things, trip over things, and drop things (I THOUGHT I had it over the side of the table before I set it down...). I cut myself. I pour things all over counters, missing the open tops of containers. I burn myself. When someone hands me something, they better be prepared to hang onto it until my own hand feels for it and finds it, because I can't tell just where it is, just there in space in your hand. If it's shiny or transparent, more's the problem. I can't tell how high a curb is, or even if there is a curb in front of me. Concrete to ashphalt seams may or may not be at the same level and I don't find out until I've tripped over it. (Of course now that I use a walker, it gives me advance warning and has helped me to get around more confidently - and safely!) And a patterned carpet or floor appears to be 3D.

Speaking of floors, we went into a restaurant on Labor Day. As hubby headed for the rest room a young man was walking me to our table. I'd left my walker in the car, as we were parked right next to the door, and it was a small restaurant, and I was on pain pills so walking wasn't too painful at that point; besides, when I'm with Pete he helps me. It was a dark evening and the restaurant was dimly lit; the dark blue carpet had shadows everywhere. I felt panicked. As the kid rushed ahead of me, I was trying desperately to focus on the floor as I shuffled along. I finally called out to him to wait for me, told him my vision was very poor, I couldn't see the floor clearly, and asked if there were any ramps or stairs in my path. He commented that he's never tripped over the floor, then he and a nearby waitress had a good laugh at my expense. I was humiliated and wanted to cry...

Many times I wear a patch over my left eye. Take a flashlight and shine it into one of your eyes, and then look at something with the other one. Can't see clearly even though there's nothing wrong with that eye? That's how I see. My right eye is perfectly wonderful, but any light at all as that flashlight effect on my left eye. I can see much better if it is just closed AND patched, since merely closing it still lets in too much light to let my right eye do its job.

When I had my left eye dilated for the exam a few weeks ago, it was white. The eye doc let my sister look through the fancy schmancy instrument into that eye, and she said, "There's a SNOWBALL in there!"

I haven't driven for a couple of years. I can't tell whether that dark shape in the road is a big hole, a puddle, a shadow, a critter, or a child. Headlights or reflections instantly make it impossible to see. If someone is pulled over on the other side of the road, I can't tell if they're way over on the opposite shoulder, or right in front of me. With police lights on, it looks as if there are a half-dozen vehicles there. To say nothing of the messed up perception of traffic coming around curves or corners, or my distance from other vehicles, stop signs, etc.

So yeah, while it could be deemed "Just a cataract surgery," that quick procedure will change my entire life. MY ENTIRE LIFE.

My Nissen Fundoplication Experience

13 Months Post Op: #fundoplication issues?

A Blog Worth Knowing About: The Adventures of Beaner

ONE YEAR!

11 Months! #fundoplication

10 Months PostOp - and counting! #fundoplication

Diet and #GERD

Links: Doctor's Post-Op Guidelines after Laparoscopic Nissen #Fundoplication

7-Month Post-Op Update #fundoplication

Quick Update - Pain from ???

What Caused THAT?!?!?

Tomorrow, It Will Be 6 Months!

That Darned Pork! (5-month post-op update)

4 Months Today!

Other Adjustments

100 Days!

3-month Anniversary! and Uh-oh...I Shouldn't Have Done THAT! #fundoplication

11 Weeks Post-Op

60-Days Post Op - and BREAD!

A REAL Blog Post! (Update)

Sometimes We Have to be Selfish

What a Difference a Day Makes!

The Art of Compromise #lowcarb

Some Health Thoughts, and Other Miscellany

My 1st Post-Fundoplication "I-shouldn't-have-eaten-that" MEGA-PAIN! #lowcarb #fundoplication

Low Carbing and My Hospital Experience #lowcarb

Back in the Hospital - UGH!!

So...Dangit!

Jan 2nd...Not As I Planned

Dec.1 - Jan. 1 - The First Month

Dec.1 - Jan. 1 - The First Month [ #lowcarb #fundoplication ]

Day 30 [ #lowcarb #fundoplication ]

Day 30 - A Whole Bunch of (Unrelated?) Stuff

Day 29 [ #lowcarb #fundoplication ]

Day 29

Day 28 - A L - O - N - G Day!

Day 28 - My First Restaurant Meals [ #fundoplication #lowcarb ]

Day 27 [#lowcarb #fundoplication ]

Day 27

Day 26

Day 26: Pushing my Limits [ #fundoplication but not necessarily #lowcarb ]

Day 25 - Feeling Almost Normal [ #lowcarb #fundoplication ]

A Day of Rest

Christmas Day!

Day 22 #fundoplication #lowcarb

Day 22 - Hitting the Wall

Three Weeks Ago Today!

Three Weeks Ago Today! #lowcarb #fundoplication

Day 20: What I Ate #lowcarb #fundoplication

Day 20 - A Fall (But I'm OK, Gwen)

Day 19 - and yes, I'm sure of it.

Day 19 - Lots of Improvement!

Oh, And I Almost Forgot...

Day 18 - What I Ate

Day 18, Plus Other Stuff

Day 17 - Tummy Tantrums [ #low carb #fundoplication ]

Day 17 - 3 Steps Forward, 2 Steps Back

Just a Quick Note on Eating, Day 16 [ #lowcarb #fundoplication ]

Day 16: Baby Steps

Pay Attention!

Added Another New Food Yesterday [ #lowcarb #fundoplication ]

...and Learned the Hard Way

Some Things I Learned This Morning

...And I Continue to Add Foods...

Lovely To Be Home!

Going Home - Day 13

Day 11: What I'm Eating These Days

Hard to Believe it is Day 11 Already!

Day 9: Antibiotics and Pain

Day 8 and Blood Sugar/Insulin Thoughts

Day 8 and Blood Sugar/Insulin Thoughts

It's Still All About The Food

It's Still All About The Food

Another post-surgical report

3 Days Later

3 days Later...

Today Is The Day

Today Is The Day

*SMACK* Between the Eyes

Coming Down To The Wire

SMACK Between the Eyes