Saturday, January 1, 2011

Dec.1 - Jan. 1 - The First Month

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)

I've already written a lot here almost every day so there isn't much to write about, I just have 2 things, really.

First, I'm about 1/3 of the way through the 100 days. (The surgeon told me it will take a full year to recover completely, but the first 100 days will be "critical" and that I need to go easy on myself during this time. I interpret "go easy" as to rest when I get tired, don't push it when something causes pain, eat what is comfortable in my stomach and no more, and things like that.) I have periods of time when I feel almost normal and go about doing housewifely things and then suddenly I can't do one more thing and have to stop. Right then and there. I simply cannot continue whether or not I want to, or even need to. I'm anticipating that these next couple of months will find me gradually able to do more and more until that doesn't happen anymore.

And I have to once more bring up this depression. I described it to my husband yesterday like this: Yes, I can laugh at a joke, I can carry on a normal conversation, I can put smileys in my emails and FB updates (though I don't feel them these days, they are more like punctuation), I can make myself act and talk normally. I can feel happy about something - such as Pete's new job after all these months of unemployment - but underneath there is a blackness that doesn't go away. It is like a shiny red boat racing across the waves, the sun is shining brightly, the boat is bouncing happily across the lake...but underneath it the water is dark, black even, and icy cold. The boat may be bright and bouncy, but it is surrounded and supported wholly by something dark and cold and ready to devour it at any minute. That is how it is. Exactly.

I talk about my food choices and adapting and how this surgery has changed my diet in my other blog. Between what I've been posting here and there, I think I've given a pretty complete picture of how life has been as it pertains to the nissen fundoplication surgery, and hopefully it will be helpful to someone else who needs this surgery, or has had it and just wants to compare notes.

1 comment:

  1. Sherry, you have been through a horrendous ordeal that has consumed your life for years. Now you are "suppose to be healed"of some of it but you still hurt. So, depression underneath is definitely understandable. You may want to see a counselor but if not you could try some St Johns Wort tea, it's very mild but I have no idea how it would react with your meds. You'd have to do some research. Another very very very important supplement is Vitamin D. Canada has raised it's minimum level to 1,000 mg per day for women and it does help me somewhat.